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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The Buck Stops Here?

Virtually every person that comes for help has made their partner responsible for the state of their relationship.

Someone in this common model of behaviour is not seeing the moment they stand back and wait for their partner to change, they have instantly lost control.

Successful people know that the moment they take responsibility, they put themselves back in the driving seat.

The shift I’m talking about is making each person 100% responsible for their own emotional states and the state of their marriage.

This means moving away from the “I’m only responsible for my half” so naturally out of control of the other 50%.

In any successful team, each person is 100% responsible for the outcome.

When one person is struggling or suffering, the other persons’ job is to help them, support them, love them.

The problem most couples suffer from is rather than helping each other, they sit in judgement and blame whilst defending themselves.

In becoming defensive and judgmental, that person has now lost connection with themselves, which compounds their own pain and suffering.

So a person who might call themselves loving, kind, supportive is now none of those qualities whilst they practice being the blamer and the judger.

So they are very keen to hold their partner to their standards whilst they are blind to the fact they have lost connection to their own standards.

This is a recipe for disaster, and this model must change if the couple are to grow.

The reason this destructive process happens is for a few reasons.

Many people are so conditioned to look for what is wrong that they miss the bigger picture’s truth.

They are too connected to a need to understand, and when they don’t, they make themselves the judge of right and wrong.

Many think the way they think is the right way or the only way.

IMPORTANT: Successful relationship building is a skill we don’t naturally possess.

The start of this skill is a persons’ relationship with themselves.

Your ability to stay connected to your true self is critical. Most people lose connection with themselves when things go wrong and then blame their partner for how they feel.

Only when one person brings out the best in themselves are they in the right emotional space to bring out the best in their partner.

Too many people somehow think that bringing the worst of themselves to a problem is the best way to solve it.

When both people practice disconnecting from themselves when something goes wrong, this is a path to disconnect/divorce.

Relationships are supposed to compound love, passion, fun…

People without the necessary skills or tools will compound feelings such as anger, disconnect, frustration, and loneliness…

Moving someone from being the judge to reconnecting to themselves and becoming responsible and supportive is a process.

Thankfully it’s learnable for those who value love and connection and want to grow their emotional resources so they can be of true value to themselves and their marriage.

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Personal Development

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post
  • Committing to Personal Integrity – Mini Post
  • Men are afraid – Mini Post
  • Are you in a trading relationship? – Mini post
  • Communicating with MEN – Mini Post
  • From Stephen Hedger to you…
  • “Divorce won’t solve this…” – Mini Post
  • “He will remember it all forever!” – Mini Post
  • “She never knew this was her job!” – Mini post
  • Leadership Skills for Relationships – Mini Post
  • What makes a good partner? – Mini post
  • “Do you have good family values?” – Mini Post
  • “Which man should she choose?” – Mini post
  • “Did you enjoy yourself?” – Mini Post
  • The connection that kills passion – Mini post
  • “Why she stops finding him attractive” – Mini post

Over 1000 Relationship Articles

Categories

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  • Destructive Patterns
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  • Infidelity-Affairs
  • Loss of Love
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  • Lost Attraction
  • Marriage Coaching
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  • Retirement Crisis
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  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts
  • Stuck
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  • Top 10 Popular Posts
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Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

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  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
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  • About
  • Success Stories
  • Over 1000 Articles
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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