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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“The Bulletproof Marriage”

We all like the theory of someone being our soul mate. Someone that has our back and will love us for life, someone that’s a friend and a lover. Someone who will help us become the best of us, pick us up when we are down and cheer us on when we succeed.

Most people want a purposeful life that’s exciting with someone special.

The problem is no one that gets married is going to be able to see the future and know how they will both feel about themselves and each other.

Far too many people end up disappointed with how their life plays out and for some who they have chosen.

Many are bored either with their life or each other.

Some have lost connection and passion for each other and life is just about work, kids and tending to a house.

Others can’t agree on the basics such as money and life decisions.

Many know they can’t communicate and either are in a constant power battle or have simply given up trying.

So what’s the problem with all the couples I see?

None of them has set their marriage up to be successful, and so when life changes hit them they don’t respond as a team, and many end up protecting themselves from each other.

Couples are simply not aware of the pitfalls that all couples will face as the years roll on and so they kill (without knowing) the energies that keep their marriage alive – PASSION/EXCITEMENT – ATTRACTION – LOVE & CONNECTION!!!

They don’t know for example that passion will naturally die as the need for security (emotional protection/connection) rises. 

  • They don’t know that passion will die as surprise and mystery declines in their marriage.
  • They don’t know that their partner thinks and has critical needs that are totally different to them so this will create confusion and assumptions that help us feel we are not loved or cared for.
  • They don’t know how to have conflict and grow closer from it, so the protect me from you process starts.
  • They don’t know how to connect with each other so either through time or circumstances, the connection will be dying as they know their partner doesn’t understand them.
  • They don’t know the importance of planning their marriage, their life and who they must become to become valuable to each other. Many people still think they should be loved regardless of what they do. Relationships need feeding, or they will die.
  • They don’t know successful marriages are about giving and meeting your partner needs in the way they need it. Couples who are not having this conversation about needs will feel an emotional deficit that takes their pain into years of suffering.
  • They don’t know the behaviours that will naturally enable their partner to want to disconnect from them. I see so many couples who have killed their attraction so badly they feel a need to protect themselves from each other. In fact, just being in the same room creates anxiety for some.
  • What couples are not seeing is the way they are trying to help support and get through to their partner is actually pushing them away.
  • Couples don’t know that if their partners’ critical needs are not met, they will have to meet them somewhere else. This could be friends family work kids, or for many, they will become vulnerable to intimacy with someone new.
  • A lot of men are not aware that some of women’s behaviour in a relationship is designed to discover if he is man enough for her. Most women are not attracted to needy men they can control. Every couple, of course, is different.
  • Women are not aware that the man in her life doesn’t understand her and is going to be confused by a lot of her words and behaviours. She can feel a disconnect from him, but it may not be because he doesn’t love her. He just doesn’t know how to please her and help her. (Please note men who feel they cannot be successful with his wife over time will feel significant pain and can emotionally detach or focus his energy into what he can be successful at.)

These are just a few of the problems couples can face as time passes.

If you are either just married or have been together for years, it’s never too late to learn how to build a “The Bulletproof Marriage”.

Every couple is unique, and so their solution has to be unique to them.

When you can see relationships from the perspective of understanding it’s so easy to see why couples are in trouble.

IMPORTANT: Men and women don’t have natural communication styles that are compatible, so they will consistently feel disconnected especially as time passes.

Thankfully this is learnable and helps couples overcome their crisis and explains to them why they have struggled for so long.

Once they understand their disconnection they can once again become a team that can connect and support each other. The goal is to help couples create powerful connection based behaviours that naturally allow passion and love to thrive whilst building a foundation of teamwork, belonging and security.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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