• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • FAQ
  • Clients Success
  • About
  • Marriage Assessment
  • Blog

The Different Versions Of You

Have you ever noticed that when you speak to different people they bring our different versions of you? These different people will give you a feeling inside, and from those feelings you’ll decide if you like the person or not, and from here you’ll create your behaviours.

Have you ever wondered why and how this happens? Understanding this will not only change your perspective on the world you live in, but it will also change your perspective on your relationships.

Did you know you have created different versions of you

In each of us are many different personalities for example, for a woman there would be the soft feminine version of her, the protective masculine side, the naughty sexy side, the fun loving side, the adventure side, in fact she can have 20+ different versions of her that at some point she created without knowing.

She thinks this is just the way she is, but what she doesn’t yet know is she can control these versions of herself and change her future. Men are the same.

Depending on which version of ourselves we are in, we will always create a different outcome.

So when people speak to us what happens is the meaning we give to what that person is doing or saying will bring out a different version of us.

So the state we are in before they talk to us combined with our meaning of them creates a feeling within us.

So yesterday you can be getting on just fine with your partner, or friend and the today nothing seems to have changed, but something doesn’t feel right, or the same.

The reason this happened is because yesterday a different version of you was out and a different version of them was out. Today you will have brought out different versions of each other again and so it doesn’t feel the same.

Every time you interact with anyone this is happening and so you are creating different worlds with the same people and this can scare you, excite you, make you happy, or sad.

So with these constant changes you will give this a meaning and attach your meaning to them. You might say I don’t like him, or she is miserable or he’s so exciting.

Live in the wrong version of you and you’ll experience a painful life

We see people changing all the time, BUT what we don’t yet know is these different versions of ourselves can create different futures, because from these different states and versions of ourselves we will create different decisions. Different decisions equals different futures.

What is more concerning is when someone gets stuck, and lives constantly in one personality type, because they feel safer, but the result can be depression, anxiety or just never happy and can’t work out why.

  • For example a person may have been brought up in a family that argues all the time. To survive a masculine aggressive version of that person would be created. A person who lives in this version of themselves will have a very tough future because the outside world will be constantly rejecting that default behaviour.

They get sent to anger management when what they really need is to retire the wrong version of themselves and bring our other productive versions of themselves that will help them to support their future.

This of course is just one example.

  • If this has struck a chord with you Stephen Hedger runs a self-discovery session to help people understand the different version of them so they can create futures and relationship that are happier stronger and in control.
    If you want to know more about this click here
  • About
  • Latest Posts
Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

Category iconUncategorized






Marriage Breakthrough Client

"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

ANDY - CEO & FOUNDER

Claim Your FREE Consultation!




Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands
  • What to Do When Your Marriage Is Failing — Real Answers That Work
  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage
  • Husbands May Only Become What She Believes Him to Be – Mini Post
  • “I feel nothing… and he’s no idea why!” – MiniPost
  • 7 Steps For a Successful Marriage Repair Process
  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



Categories

  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (70)
  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (42)
  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
  • Marriage Coaching (435)
  • Marriage Mastery Assessment (1)
  • Masculine & Feminine (10)
  • Mini Posts (3)
  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
  • Personal Development (106)
  • Rebuilding trust (39)
  • Relationship Stories (25)
  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (42)
  • Separation & Divorce (9)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Footer

Expert Help Available Worldwide via Zoom

For assistance from Stephen, contact his team at:

📞 +44 (0)845 519 4808



Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
United Kingdom



Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Clients Success Stories
  • Explore 1,300+ FREE life changing articles
  • FREE Marriage in Crisis Guide
  • FAQs
  • Private Diagnostic Marriage Assessment

Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Apply For Help Here Now...

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2025 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top