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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The POWER our fears are having on our relationships

We all have fears, but what happens when by trying to avoid our fears it leads us to what we fear most. This is so basic that it should be taught in schools. Sadly very few are aware of the impact it is having on their lives.

You see having a fear means that on some level that fear is part of our focus. My regular readers and my clients already know, that what we focus on will create what we ultimately get in life.

What’s important to learn is this ‘focus’ does not have to be a conscious one for it to become a goal you haven’t chosen.

Many of us have fears we are not consciously connected to and these fears are crafting the way we live and most of us are simply not aware.

In addition many of us do have conscious fears, but these are gateway fears that are designed to protect us from our real fears.

Look at this example: What if a person is consciously fearful of being trapped yet their deepest fear is they won’t be loved, how will this affect their relationship(s)? Of course it’s dramatic!

In all of us these battles exist and they not only affect ourselves, but they can have a dramatically damaging affect on our partners and so our relationships.

The main reason for this, two people will have two sets of fears (one set each) that will be guiding the individuals to protect themselves from experiencing their own individual and unique fears.

As these couples move their focus to protect themselves, the relationship goes into a deficit and starts to die. Unless this destructive pattern is interrupted both people will be igniting their worst fears without knowing.

Leading them to the assumption the relationship is wrong.

What’s wrong is the couples relationship with themselves, but the individuals in this relationship may not learn this until they start to see the pattern emerging in their future relationships. BUT by then they have lost significant amount of time and their life. Time they can never get back.

Our fears are designed to protect us, but so many of us live every day with a fear that’s effecting them to the point it destroys their lives and their relationships.

You simply can’t have a great relationship with others unless you have a great relationship with yourself and understanding this part of how we work is so important.

So in my sessions I teach these individuals and couples the path to connecting with themselves so they can become powerful pillars that can offer real value in their relationships.

So what do you fear consciously and what deeper fear(s) is it guarding? I ask this because it’s creating the life your are living today and the one you are heading for either on your own, or with your partner this is so important to learn.

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • His marriage was over!
  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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