To become successful in life you have to become valuable, this is a simple fact of life. This is especially critical to understand in our relationships. Specifically the question is: What has to happen for a man to become valuable to his wife? What has to happen for a wife to become valuable to her husband?
I can tell you now, that if all couples started their relationships knowing this the divorce rate would nose dive. With 13 divorces happening every hour in England and Wales there is no question we have a significant problem with our relationships. So this is important to know and so I’m going to be tough, not because I take pleasure in it, it’s because I care and if I wake up just one person and that saves their family from divorce then for me it’s worth it.
You see unless we know how to become valuable to our partners in the way they need. What is the point of us in that relationship? All humans have needs and every human is different and what they need is unique to them. If you don’t make understanding this your life mission then please expect problems.
Now I know that many of you will feel that you were valuable once, but you have stopped because he or she did or said that bad thing and now you are teaching them a lesson.
I can tell you now, withholding the real you will only result in causing you more pain.
It takes a lot of work to become someone you’re not in your relationship and not loving your partner and giving them the best of you means you have now become part of the problem too.
You see it’s very hard to point your finger at your partner and blame them for not being understanding, giving or loving when you are doing the same.
Relationship problems are never straight forward and believe me when I say if you think you understand why you have problems you will be wrong.
I have been working with couples in crisis for 12+ years and no couple understands the massive complexity of how they fell in love and why they are now in a living hell together.
I know for some of you all of that was hard to hear, but I’m here to help and tell you how it really is. I had to learn this too and do you know what, taking responsibility put me back in the drivers seat. I will never ever chose to become someone I’m not ever again and from my heart I hope you are taking this in for you.
If I haven’t lost you then the following will help to start your journey to a secure relationship so good luck.
Now to be able to understand your partner you are going to need to gain some skills …
- How to have conflict and build a deeper connection?
- How to understand your own needs and communicate them clearly?
- How to understand what you partner really needs and not what you think they need?
- How to create the energy that keeps that sexual energy alive?
- How to create a future that’s exciting to both of you where you can become a team?
These are just a few of the many critical ways you can start to learn how to become valuable to your partner.
Relationship problems are hard because they ignite the biggest fears in us all, but understanding what to do will build massive confidence in you to be who you really are no matter what happens.
Your history is not a reflection of your future if you chose to make changes today.
If this has stuck a chord with you and you would like to know how we can help your specific situation call us today.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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