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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Unhappy marriage? Couples are shocked to learn their problems are not quite what they thought?

There are three relationships in any marriage, that’s right three!… and if you don’t get these right then please expect problems.

When relationships go wrong many people assume they feel bad because of their partners behaviours, or lack of them. This can of course have an significant effect in terms of their feelings. It’s critical to know what really created those feelings because a person wanting to leave a marriage is going to use their feelings as their guide to a better life.

If you want the real truth in your marriage then you’ll have to look at all three powerful influencers.

What about the other two relationships that will and do form a powerful part of the mix?

The other two relationships are the ones the two people in the marriage have with themselves. This is usually overlooked, but it forms a significant part of the journey I take couples through.

I have seen so many couples get their relationship back on track because they have discovered how to have a significantly better relationship with themselves.

They become more trusting, more understanding, they live looking for the good. They discover how to be confident in themselves and live without the need for constant self protection.

Individuals can create their own problems for themselves in their marriage by using outdated patterns of behaviour which are designed to protect them from getting hurt. These people are unaware their outdated patterns really only service to empty them emotionally.

The sad results is they feel bad, but they attach it to the wrong thing – their marriage!

I’m going to share a learnt pattern below which is just one of so many learnt patterns that could affect a person in their relationship and thus affect their view of marriage.

For example: Someone that learnt as a child they couldn’t trust their parents.

If you can’t trust those that are supposed to love you unconditionally who can you trust? This means ‘trust’ is likely to be a red alert problem for that person.

That means at some point they are likely to bring a protective self to their marriage. They will be on red alert looking for reasons to not trust their partner and it won’t be long before they will find them.

This will help them to hold back in their marriage. Their partner will be likely to respond by protecting themselves also using their own outdated protective pattern.

Practiced over time this will result in the couples marriage dying.

We all have patterns that are designed to protect us emotionally, but for the vast majority all their protection patterns do is make their relationship worse, because the person is disabled from being their true self.

When an individual is disabled from being themselves they simply empty emotionally. This feeling is horrible for that person and results in them stacking resentments towards their partner and attaching those resentments to their relationship.

I’m currently helping individuals learn how to have a relationship with themselves that disconnects them from their outdated patterns and engages them with patterns that can help them to feel safer from within the marriage.

It’s from this safer place I encourage individuals then explore their marriage.

Just imagine if an individual created a pattern of behaviour years before that’s designed to protect them and without knowing they are running this outdated pattern for a totally different life condition and destroying their relationship from within themselves.

I see far too many people in this very place.

If you or your partner has ended up emotionally protecting yourselves from each other then you are likely to be experiencing this very problem.

Once we get two people to a much safer place within themselves then we can explore the marriage and help the individuals learn if it’s then possible to create a dynamic that works for them both long-term.

Two people that have really understood themselves are then given the critical tools to prevent destructive patterns being created in themselves in the future and within their relationship.

This protects the marriage and empowers both people to know what to do when any problems hit their marriage.

They simply learn how to become a team that operates on a foundation of growth and kindness.

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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