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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Unsolicited Advice in Relationships…”

The impact of this problem isn’t good at all. I see many couples where one person has given themselves the role of coach.

It usually happens when what they need isn’t happening so they use this approach without understanding they are instantly reducing their partners’ desire to want to help them.

Mechanically for most humans telling someone they are wrong doesn’t create motivation it kills it.

They decide they are going to put their meanings to their partners’ behaviours and show them the error of their ways.

It’s a kind of… “like it or not, I’m going to give you this advice because I think you need it…” this approach is the fastest way to switch off a partner’s interest.

“See this is what you do…” “This is where you are going wrong…” “You know what your problem is, don’t you..?”

One of the most irritating behaviours a person can bring to their partner is unsolicited advice from the self-proclaimed judge.

No one likes this behaviour, or values it and all it creates is a disconnect.

I have many years of understanding human behaviour in the context of intimate relationships so whatever happens at home I’m going to see what is happening and why very quickly.

But I have a challenge.

When I met my wife Cloe I made a pact with myself to never coach her no matter how tempting because I knew it would kill our connection dead because it would invoke a parent-child dynamic.

The parent-child dynamic is not an attractive one to be in AT ALL!

I chose a different route and that is to learn how she works so I can get the best out of her.

This way she is having a natural response to any energy she experiences and no pressure.

It allows her to be free to be who she really is.

That energy is designed to help her to feel amazing about herself.

She will then naturally attach that feeling to me – this is how attachment works.

Feeling consistently good will enable her to want the best for me, which she does.

Now the model is set, we have two people wanting the best for each other and focused on each other’s happiness.

This model is how just one person can single-handedly lead the couple into a far happier relationship.

The key to successful marriages is to add value in a meaningful way.

If a person keeps taking from a marriage, eventually it will empty.

If a person adds value then the marriage is never empty because it’s topped up daily.

The reason many people end up demanding and coaching their partners is that they don’t know how to bring out the best in them, or themselves.

So there are two choices each with very different outcomes, you can judge and blame and you’ve seen where that takes them, or learn you can learn how to be the example add value and lead your marriage to safety…

It’s a choice.

Category iconMarriage Coaching

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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