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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Want to learn the skills and tools to stop the problems and make your relationship work again?

After developing a marriage breakthrough program for couples in crisis and applying it to the man on the street, major celebrities, to business leaders and entrepreneurs and successfully bringing these couples back from the brink of divorce time-after-time.

Here are a few of the key principals I have learnt on this amazing journey with couples right on the edge of divorce.

1. The most important focus for any couple.

I have learnt that this decision is critical not just in maintaining a successful marriage, but an essential part of the relationship building process.

Put your partner first..! If your partner feelsthat anything is more important than them expect problems. What could affect them could be anything from the attractive single person in the office, to a seemingly non-threatening hobby. This is really important, no matter what, they have to feel they come first…

2. The second most important focus.

Couples in trouble find that they will have lost a sense of their own true sell in their marriage. If they live too long in this place low moods, loss of confidence, stress, frustration, anger can cause them to feel exhaustion. They will feel emotionally empty in their quest to save the marriage, or escape from it.

Becoming the true you is the second key focus! Understanding who you really are and become the best version of you without fear creates a new way of thinking that enables the creative problem solving process.

3. The future.

One of the most frightening feelings on the way to marital breakdown is when a person stops seeing the future, or the one they can see looks emotionally painful or unfulfilling.

Align with the joint vision for the future. When two people don’t plan their journey through life together they have nothing to work towards and so they lose mutual investment, trust and respect in each other as the reality or vision doesn’t match their expectation.

4. Learn all you can.

Even the most seasoned couples 50 years married discover they never really knew each other. Ironically they thought they did, only to discover their partners mind held a whole new world they never knew about.

Understand how your partner works. The desire and then ability to understand creates safer connections. If you don’t understand your partner this will create pain within them and misunderstandings between you.

5. What drives them?

One of the biggest misunderstanding comes when what drives your partner is not what drives you. This creates confusion and misunderstandings as your priorities will be different.

Learn what needs drive your partner. Not understanding this will only create friction and loss of desire to connect.

6. Differences?

Every couple has differences, but the focus on the weaknesses rather than the strengths are guaranteed to crush any couple, but this generally becomes the focus when life starts to feel wrong.

Discover the differences that attracted you initially. Men and women are totally different without question. Discover your partners strengths on your journey through life together.

7. Fears

We have discovered that fears can help individuals disconnect from their true self. This causes emotional disconnect from self as well as from each other.

Learn what you value and why. Learning what we value and how to align our actions with what we say is important is critical to not let destructive fears drive our decisions.

8. Feelings 

Our feelings good and bad are real, but what about the meanings we attach to our feelings? It is very possibility that our feelings can get attached to the wrong things if we assume our the meanings are 100% right.

Understanding your feelings and how to translate and control them so the right decisions can be made is critical to safely design your future.

9. Look for the truth

It is true that not all couples are compatible, however getting confused between compatibility which can’t be solved and the many problems that can be solved needs total clarity.

The truth will set you free, it maybe an old saying but it’s the truth. Too many couples would rather end their relationship than seek the truth as the truth can feel more painful.

10. Our thinking affects our lives

Many people are not aware their thinking creates behaviours which then leads to their future. So being out of control of their thinking creates out of control behaviours. Out of control behaviours create uncertainty.

Uncertainty creates fears and fearful people struggle to build secure, passionate relationships.

11. What’s my role?

It’s clear that many couples are not aware that their dynamic will create certain roles which will either work, or will not work. The key principle is to discover what roles will free the relationship to go to the depth of connection the couple need.

12. Love all of me

When a couple accepts and loves their partner for who they are, they free each other to become the best they can be.

Relationships that are focused on growth and avoid judgment enable secure loving connection. Judgement destroys trust and respect.

13. Sex life

What will kill your sex life? One of the barometers of a good relationship is a mutually satisfying sex life. So understanding the foundations and pitfalls is critical.

Most sexual problems are relationship problems and loss of sexual activity cannot be the focus to solve this problem, because the pressure kills desire.

14. Money

Many couples fight over money. If the money becomes the focus it’s likely to be a symptom of a deeper issue in the marriage.

Money is not a symbol of power in a relationship. True power is the ability to become magnetic to your partner.

15. Affairs

An affair usually is a symptom of significant problems in the marriage. Of course discovery of the affair and the aftermath can become the immediate problem, but when a couples learns why a affair become the solution to a problem then they are armed to solve the problem.

Affair are symptoms of problems.

16. Stress, depression and anxiety.

What comes first the chicken or the egg? Did the stress cause the relationship problems or did the problems cause the stress?

Without a doubt this can put pressure on a relationship and especially if the stress or depression actually meets the persons needs and so they need to keep it to feel safe.

17. Emotional detachment.

If one person becomes emotionally detached they have done so to protect themselves from fear. Understanding the truth behind the fear is the key to no longer needing the detachment for personal security.

18. Conflict

Having a difference of opinion or perspective is healthy.  What’s not healthy is making being right more important than your partners feelings.

The skill is to have conflict and grow closer from it.

Is this all I know?

These findings do apply to many couples in crisis, but every couple is unique and so is their relationship and their problems.

I now work only with couples in crisis and I have a unique body of knowledge that enables me to see the source of couples problems quickly, and this enables me to plan their recovery step-by-step and fast.

This unique and strategic approach is applied differently to every couple, so only my face-to-face clients experience these life changing solutions. Learn more

  • About
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

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"Working with Stephen was the most valuable 12 hours of my life. He gave me the tools to build a deeply loving, passionate relationship. His compassion, humour, and insight truly transformed me as a man."

ANDY - CEO & FOUNDER

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
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  • Betrayed by an Affair: How to Survive Infidelity and Rebuild Your Marriage
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Over 1300 Relationship Articles



Categories

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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