When couples fall in love there comes a point of shock when they realise how differently their partner thinks about critical elements of their life together.
In many cases, these shocks happen as they go and after they are both fully invested. The couple will notice as their life together unfolds it will release the next shock of newly discovered misalignment.
Many people fall into the trap of thinking that falling in love is instantly going to align their thinking.
Does being in love instantly mean we agree without a discussion about how kids are brought up?
Will we instantly agree on how the money is managed and who does what in the home, what about the direction our lives should take?
Many couples are finding themselves in conflict and not on the same page with the day-to-day transaction stuff.
The biggest challenge
The biggest challenge is when couples are not on the same page with the emotional connection and emotional security.
When one or both people are naturally expecting from their partner the model of what equals to them a loving partner and they don’t get it, it can cause real problems.
Look at sexual connection, for many women (and some men) this becomes a real struggle when the relationship doesn’t also practice a consistent emotional connection.
Unless they get on the same page, sexual misalignment can cause stress and resentment and now the cycle of ‘lack’ will become self-fulfilling.
Successful relationships are rooted in alignment as this is the easiest way to grow a successful connection and keep all the fun stuff alive.
The challenge is men and women are not designed to think the same way about life and especially relationships.
We are designed totally differently and the assumption we should think the same is causing a lot of unnecessary stress.
It’s not always just about the differences between masculine and feminine, it’s also about understanding that each person on the planet is unique, they are an individual and as such will have different beliefs, needs, values that drive them.
Just because they are different it doesn’t make them wrong.
These differences need to be understood and respected because the best way to kill the spirit of a person is to kill who they are by trying to change them.
Far too many people think their partners’ thinking is wrong and they would be better off thinking the same as they do.
So be on the same page with your differences and learn to love those too.
The challenge is far too many couples really don’t know how to get on the same page because they only have access to their own thinking and this simply not enough when a connection with another human(who is different) is needed.
This is when help is required…
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
Find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
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