Many relationships are suffering today because as the individuals in the relationship start to feel something is not right for them they use certain behaviours to help them feel safe again.
The behaviours are the tools that individuals have learnt that keeps the relationship together, but in a way that makes them both unhappy.
The couple maybe experiencing a conflict of not knowing what to do. If they stay in the relationship they are in pain, miserable, if they leave the relationship they cannot imagine life without their partner.
The weapons that people use can range from humor to threats to leave, from withholding intimacy to running away.
They use these tools as leverage to get what they want from their relationships. The problems is the weapons or tools are being used to re-balance the relationship from a place of fear.
A fear of life not being the way the individual wants it to be. So the actions and result all come from and create a distortion of the truth in the relationship.
The key to helping relationships is to help the couple feel safe enough and incentivised enough that there is a better way to achieve the security they both desire whilst creating harmony.
Is this happening in your relationship?