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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“You are not alone…”

In todays post we will be exploring why so many people struggle in certain areas of their lives and what they have to start to focus on to make successful changes. If you are struggling please know you are not alone.

To become successful we have to understand certain critical factors, one of which I will talk about today.

For humans to understand the world we live in we have to create internal maps. The maps we create help us navigate our world. The more we explore the world the more comprehensive the maps will become.

For example: You will have a map of how to get from your bed to the kitchen to make a drink in the morning. A heart surgeon will have a map of how to successfully replace a persons heart with a new one. Like the surgeon if you have studied you will have mastered a map in your profession.

Each of us has our own very unique map of the world and how it works. No one has a map like yours you are totally unique. For many the map has had no name it is just a series of feelings we attach meanings to. Most tend to just go with what feels good and move away from what feels bad without question, but…

What if the good and the bad feelings are automatically moving us towards a future we don’t want? What if the map we have created is the wrong map to become successful in the way we want?

What if we have a map that has no relationship to the way the world really works. The result would be the person would struggle to achieve what they really wanted.

This person would then have to cope, and this is exhausting because the person will feel lost as their efforts will keep giving them poor to no results. They will simply go round in circles.

You see for a person to really become successful the map in their minds would have to become an accurate representation of how the world really works, only then would navigation become successful.

Having a poor map in your mind is as useless as having no map at all. Worse is having a poor map and being convinced that map is totally accurate. In this place the person would disempower themselves by blaming the world that surrounds them for being wrong whilst assuming they are right.

If the person who is not getting the results they desire would take responsibility for the map they have created and were to explore if the map they have is accurate enough to lead them to safely, then they would have a far better chance of success. You see taking responsibility of your own map is the only way to take back control of the future you want.

Creating a map in your mind that’s as close to the way the world works as possible is critical for happiness and true fulfilment.

What’s interesting about the maps we create is it doesn’t matter how much effort, how passionate we are or how laser focused we are on our goals if the map we have created is the wrong one we will always feel lost and confused.

Why do others just seem to have life so easy? Why do they have more success, more money, more passion, why do they seem to have it all?

You see being a good person, or working hard is not necessary going to lead you to the future you really want.

The future you want is only possible by aligning your map in your mind with the laws and principals that have proven to consistently lead other people to success.

If we now apply all this to our relationships it’s not difficult to see why they can be so challenging. We are dealing with two totally different maps of how a relationship should be.

So now imagine this, there is no school that teaches us growing up how to create a map that will help us navigate the twists and turns that relationships throw at us.

So with no master map of how to become successful and two people with their own home made maps created out of reactive experiences growing up how fast can couples become lost.

The answer is fast and in reaction they are both likely to blame each others map for being wrong. The challenge is in most cases both maps are wrong, but making your partner wrong is not likely to lead either one of you to a successful loving grow orientated connection

  • Get the maps right fast that’s the goal… 

If this has struck a chord with you and you are passionate to learn with or without your partner I can’t wait to meet you to share my experience of building maps that actually lead people to success.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.


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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
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