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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“You can’t trust your brain until you’ve conditioned it”!

What happens when a person has doubt, especially doubt about their relationship?

What this doubt creates is a person living a story that helps them prove their doubt is real.

A person who has not experienced a good time in their marriage can create a story that proves a lack of attraction or a lack of love.

This story can create the belief within them that their problem is unsolvable.

Many people can go through their lives strongly connected to these beliefs.

They are not aware their beliefs are being created by a mind that has yet to be conditioned to see the many perspectives available to them.

One perspective doesn’t make a truth.

Their worldview is far too narrow and will form a bias they call fact.

I once heard a famous change consultant say, “Your level of success will seldom exceed your levels of personal development”.

By conditioning themselves to believe their own story it’s proof that their lack of “personal development” will stop their success both today and in the future.

The distortion will continue for that person until the person can see it.

In many cases, doubt is the person’s biggest problem, so they use it to shield themselves from more suffering.

They don’t believe their partner can change; they don’t believe they will feel any different even if they do.

Doubt and loss of belief is going to create a significant problem because the thinking is distorted.

Most couples do have the potential to rebuild their connection because 9 times out of 10, the problem is in the couple’s understanding of themselves and each other.

The problem is that with so much doubt growing over the years the person will either take too little action, or the wrong action which won’t work.

This will result in them seeing that as the proof or reality of their situation.

This will fuel their belief and their doubt, especially if practiced over the years.

This distortion will then form the persons’ belief.

People who are convinced their perspective or story is the right one will usually take part in any changes half-heartedly.

This is why dealing with that person’s beliefs is a critical part of their own healing process.

The solution starts with the person and their distorted beliefs.

So instead of fighting or giving up.

Once they embrace “acceptance” that whatever they created together didn’t work and wasn’t ever going to work “the way they did it” they can then look for a new way to see or create their truth.

They need to embrace and question their own thinking because it’s limited by being only one perspective so it’s never the whole truth.

The problem in so many cases isn’t the couple or their relationship it’s the dynamic they have created whilst not understanding how to support and bring out of themselves and each other.

What is required is an unwavering faith in learning the truth and a massive effort to fight against their old distorted thinking.

The solution sits in a person committing to themselves to realise what they did to themselves and how they are a significant part of the problem(s) they feel they must leave.

If a person no longer has feelings for their partner, they need to know how they switched them on when they first met and how and why switched them off when they misunderstood their partner.

Remember, just because you think it doesn’t make it true!

Category iconDestructive Patterns,  Loss of Love,  Marriage Coaching,  Personal Development

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

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Recent Posts

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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