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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Are the MEANINGS YOU are putting to your partners behaviours killing your relationship?

I see so many coupes in conflict over one thing, there is a continuous giant misunderstanding of each other and they are both guilty of not seeing it.

What’s very sad is this misunderstanding is widespread and is crippling couples and destroying families everywhere as they wrongly assume their relationship can’t work.

Growing up I can’t ever remember being given any information around the staggering differences between men and women and this was setting me up for failure and a lot of pain.

In my 20’s I quickly realised I was ill equipped to manage my relationships and be a valuable partner.

What I now understand in my 50’s is without the knowledge of what both people really need, the couple is highly likely to fail and keep failing until both people end up protecting themselves from each other.

Both people protecting themselves is a crisis signal and should be a red flag that a change is required.

The way I help couples is to help them with some core missions.

  • They must understand how to really hear each other
  • They must together be able to build a compelling future
  • They must both be free to be who they really are and are loved for that
  • They must understand each others core needs and be there for their partner
  • They must learn how to repair the relationship fast

The challenge all couples face is they don’t have a model for how to support the opposite sex (specifically their partner in an intimate relationship) so they treat their partner like they are the same sex as them with disastrous consequences.

So when a woman is judging a mans behaviour she is doing so through the filter of being a woman (the reverse is of course also true).

The challenge with this is the meanings she will create are not a true representation what’s really going on within him so he will feel misrepresented and this causes conflict. (again the reverse is also true).

The mission is very simple the changes the couple must make are ones that result in more alignment and more attraction to each other.

I see men and women in their quest to fix their problems, become less and less attractive to their partners.

For example: If a woman is trying to change a man through criticism of him, she is going to actually create him wanting more emotional distance from her.

If a woman is upset the worst thing a man can do is mirror her and become equally upset at her being upset.

So to achieve attraction and alignment in all aspects of your relationship you must start to learn about your partner so you can hear their real message and not the one you think they are giving you.

The most critical time for any couple is knowing what to do when the relationship goes wrong or gets broken. That’s the time when understanding what’s really going on is critical for the couples survival.

The biggest destructive trends I see is overly masculine women who are feminine at their core but don’t feel safe to be that with their husband and so she emasculates him without knowing.

Other trends are masculine men who are seen to be controlling or bullies by women who don’t feel safe to be feminine with him.

I see many individuals who are stuck in success identities such a CEO and become the CEO of their partners, this dynamic causes disconnect and resentment. The key is to learn how to be a husband or a wife.

So what I’m seeing is couples are getting stuck in destructive patterns because they are confused by their partner and without knowing they create no win destructive situations in their quest to feel safe.

Some of the patterns are born long before the couple actually meet through childhood models and these can be a mix of good and bad models as our parents have their own problematic patterns.

What I learnt and is now what I teach is it’s what you don’t know that will hurt you.

If individuals don’t know how to bring out the best of themselves and their partner then the relationship will suffer because it’s being starved of what it really needs.

Men and women have very different needs, they have totally different operating systems they listen, speak and behave totally differently and so they confuse each other in intimate relationships and this leads to pain and suffering.

It’s not necessary to suffer, all you need is the information that will help you connect to the true you and be valuable to each other.

For those that know they are living destructive patterns but don’t know how to break them I have developed as series of private 1-on-1 programs to help individuals and couples navigate their challenges with confidence.

All the programs are designed to empower you and help you build confidence to gain the life you were meant to live.

The programs are run over 1 day for couples/individuals that need to travel or need intense emergency help.

Or the option of 6 week and 12 week programs.

Each program is tailor-made for your situation.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?
  • How to Help Spouse Heal After Affair?
  • How to Rebuild Emotional Safety (Without Needing Them to Go First)
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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