Following in on from communication skills post from yesterday, without some boundaries in place for communication then all sorts of problems can occur.
To help couples create more harmony I help them to understand some simple rules they can both live by.
Never Judge your partner:
The only way we can be qualified to judge our partners is if we were actually them, this is because the meanings we all give to our own words are based on many hidden factors and our past is one of them. If someone judged us then it would assume they understood how we arrived at our meanings.
That would mean they understood your past and many other factors too, of course they don’t…
When their words don’t make sence
So instead of focusing on your partner words that don’t seem to make sense to you, words that could be open to your judgement, focus on their emotional state.
After all, do you really need to understand everything before you will see the person you love is in pain and all he or she needs is love?
So never assume you understand your partners words and don’t judge them – you are not qualified.
About Stephen Hedger
