Without doubt this is one of the most horrible places to be in a relationship. You have memories of a past that worked, BUT you can’t get back to it. Life in this place can feel totally hopeless and you can end up feeling detached and emotionally numb which just add to the fear.
You feel you know what you should do, but something is holding you back.
You may have talked to your friends even your family. You may be feeling more confused as they all care about you, yet they are giving you conflicting advice.
Stuck you might keep going trying desperately to get through to your partner in the vain hope you will get through.
If this is you I want to help you today!
Couples in this place are usually struggling to get through to each other. One of the core reasons men and women struggle to get through to each other is they communicate very differently.
So if you have been trying to get through to your partner the chances are you will be confusing them which is why it’s getting worse and at this point both of you can start to give up.
The problem you face is both of you will be trying to solve the wrong problem and be using totally different strategies to solve it. The end result is confusion, fear, loss of trust and little desire to meet each others needs.
So we know that what you have been doing doesn’t work, so we need a new strategy that gives you the best chance of working.
When your partner communicates, listen to their words. Focus your mind to this thought… If this is what they are feeling what effect will this be having on them?
Putting yourself in your partners shoes is one of the first steps to breaking this very VICIOUS Pattern.
When couples go into trauma they end up focused on protecting themselves. This is disaster because it breaks a fundamental law of successful relationships… AS SOON AS IT’S ABOUT YOU IT’S OVER!
So someone needs to wake up and look after the other fast, I don’t care who does it just go first and show you care. Remember if you’re in pain your partner is in pain too.
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