How to make him want you back

If you want him to want you back, then you have to understand why you’re not together today. What is it that helped him feel that you were not right for each other?

The number one reason is going to be that he didn’t feel good about himself when he was with you.

The question is why did he leave you?

Most men leave relationships because they don’t feel they can be successful with their partners in the way they want.

The more proof a man has that he can’t be himself combined with feeling he can’t please her, or he isn’t enough for her the more likely he is to want leave.

  • If he feels she is negative all the time
  • If he feels she nags or complains constantly
  • If he feels she is more of a man than he is
  • If she never smiles when she is with him
  • If she blocks sex
  • If she is verbally aggressive when she’s upset
  • If she lights up with friends and family yet is miserable with him
  • He doesn’t feel free
  • He doesn’t feel respected
  • He doesn’t feel loved
  • He doesn’t feel enough for her

If he experiences any of these things he will feel bad about himself. He will feel she is impossible to please his desire to leave the relationship will be increased.

The proof will be in his desire historically to spend more and more time in other areas of his life and less time with you.

Unless he’s had relationship education he won’t understand these behaviors in you he will assume you don’t love him and so he will go.

Now you have some idea of what will make him run, so….

How do you make him want you back?

The answer is simple if he hasn’t moved on and inside he still loves you, if you help him to feel successful with you he will feel good about himself again.

Your smile is a wonderful start. When a woman smiles at a man it’s like gold to him. It’s a key indicator you are happy with him because you are doing it whilst looking at him, he will see he is the trigger for your smile.

  • He has to know what it is about him that helps you to feel like you’re a girl.
  • He has to know that you love his ability to make things right.
  • He has to know that you behaved that way because you were just scared.
About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. Stephen – could it go the other way as well? If she feels he is negative, if she feels he is always putting her down, if she doesn’t feel free,
    Isn’t the reasons same for a woman to want to walk away from a relationship? And then what then – if he won’t or doesn’t know how to fix things…because he loves her but just doesn’t realize that he’s driving her away?

    • Stephen Hedger says:

      Hi Judy Thank you for commenting

      Yes of course this is a two way street and so if she doesn’t feel good about herself when she is with him she will worry about the relationship. If man does not feel successful with his partner this can cause him emotional pain.

      It is different for most women, they don’t share the desire to fix the relationship and be successful in the same way.

      If he doesn’t know how to fix the relationship then finding out how is critical if he doesn’t want to find out then understanding why not is important.

      He may feel the help won’t work or he knows best.

      He could see it that she is driving him away.

      What I find is couples can actually push each other away without knowing both blaming each other.