How To Reinvent You After A Break Up

The Mail Online reported yesterday that, Ultimate Big Brother’s Chantelle admits: ‘I should have had therapy after my divorce, not plastic surgery’

Women in particular feel a big need to change their appearance to help them feel good after a relationship break up. The problem is because the change they usually choose is external the initial feelings are artificial and so they don’t last very long.

A woman’s natural beauty and confidence comes from within her and so unless she puts her focus into this area of her life and herself she will always ultimately feel the same no matter what she does to her hair, clothes, make-up and now the extreme make-over, plastic surgery.

If a woman really wants to reinvent herself what she needs to do is understand that she has many versions of her already and the shift to get from the painful and fearful version of her into the version that will make her feel happy, attractive and sexy again will never happen though any external intervention long-term.

The many versions of you

Imagine if you knew all the different parts of you, and you knew how to bring them out on demand.

  • The fun you
  • The sexy you
  • The you that always knows what to do to make you happy and keep you safe.

In that process of getting to know these different versions of you and in women there are 20+, you’ll also get to retire the versions of you which feel exhausted at the life you have been living, these parts of you that might always be worried or fearful, maybe depressed or anxious.

When life conditions change people change automatically

When relationships are in trouble both parties go into fear states where they are protecting themselves from what might happen in the future.

If their relationship problems have been going on for a while they can get stuck in these fears states and so they live in a distorted version of themselves always on the look out for problems.

So if the fear was massive as in Chantelle’s case she would go for a big change, which if you have watched the UK’s Channel 4 programme “Ultimate Big Brother” you can see that after her surgery she didn’t get the change she really wanted… She is not alone!

If you would like more information on how to get to know the different versions of you or you would like help with your break up and how to reinvent you so it lasts please click here

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.