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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Is the way you think going to lead you to love or divorce?

What are you and your partner feeding your brains about your relationship and what impact is it having on you both?

The reason I ask is because many people are not aware of the power that comes from consistently conditioning their brain. It’s powerful because it creates feelings and we attach feelings to things, thoughts and people.

So if a woman feels bad every time she talks to her husband, she will create an association to him that’s bad. She is conditioning her brain about how she feels about him.

You see from feelings people make decisions and many people are feeling wrong in their marriage and are deciding a divorce is the best solution to that problem.

What they have totally missed is their feelings have been generated by the way they have been translating and judging their relationship.

The problem here is this: To get a great solution to any problem you must ask a great question. Sadly many people are either asking no questions at all assuming what they feel is proof enough, or they are asking the wrong questions which will lead them to disaster.

The question why is my partner so awful to me, will lead a person to search for more times they were awful, this is disastrous.

So the question is not why do I feel bad about my husband/wife. The question is what part have I played in making me feel bad about my husband/wife?

What did I do to myself that enabled me to feel this way?

Well… to go from falling in love to wanting a divorce actually takes a lot of effort to become successful.

You firstly have to translate your partner behaviours as bad and then go on the lookout for more bad behaviours and practice doing this over time.

Remember that when we look for problems we will find more and more of them.

The question is: Are my partner behaviours really bad, or have you misunderstood them. If you have misunderstood and you feel bad, what would you have created within you? Yes that right, you have created bad feelings. Who have you attached those bad feelings too? Yes that’s right, to your partner.

Now does that seem right to you? No… something is clearly wrong here.

The question now is this have you misunderstood your partner? If I was in your shoes I would make the assumption that you have.

I would go in search of the truth in many cases peoples seemingly bad behaviour is because they love their partner not because they don’t.

Just knowing that the way men and women translate information is very different means translations are going to get distorted.

The key to a successful relationship is learning how to create the translations that align with your partners real intent.

In my experience the fastest way to kill a relationship is to move to protect yourself from your partner. Make an assumption about your partner that is not true and you will move to protect you from them.

When you move to protect you from your partner they will in reaction mirror you and you will both feed your minds exactly what it needs to detach emotionally from each other.

The best way to not fall into this trap is to learn the difference between men and women and specifically what influences the thoughts you both have. Many people create thoughts that have little to do with their relationship, but the marriage and the family pays the ultimate price.

Do men naturally know how to emotionally connect with their wives… NO! Why? Well firstly they have never been female how would he know? Should she assume he would just know what she’s feeling? NO!

The price of getting this wrong is too high. I am currently working with individuals and couples to understand this at a far deeper level. Their philosophy is they will do anything to get this right because they put high value on their own lives and the lives of their family.

They want to be great mums and dads and great leaders for their families and they know they can’t do that without the right information.

Are you going assume you know what you are feeling is right and take a risk, or are you going to learn how to really know?

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?
  • How to Help Spouse Heal After Affair?
  • How to Rebuild Emotional Safety (Without Needing Them to Go First)
  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other

Over 1300 Relationship Articles



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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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