The reason so many couples struggle is because they really don’t understand each other. If this goes on for long enough what they start to feel is fear/emotional pain, they feel alone and unsupported. The worst place to feel lonely is in a relationship.
Fear then becomes the filter of experience for that person. So when their partner communicates what they hear is very different from their partners’ original intention. In essence they are searching for problems as their partner communicates to them. Anyone can at this point find problems with the most innocent of comments.
Even if their partner says “that’s not what I said, or meant” the lack of trust based on their fear is going to be high and so trusting each other at this point becomes difficult.
Because trust is a foundation of any relationship the couple will now struggle to connect.
So why do men and women have such problems communicating?
The reason is simple men and women experience the world differently, but most couples assume their partner experiences the world the same as them.
They judge their partners words and actions based on their own map of how the world should work. Soon as their partner behaves in a way which is different to their map they judge their partner as wrong.
It’s this judgement that causes their problems. Couples that judge each other will have problems that disconnect them.
If couples chose to behave differently and became a team and look at their differences as a strength, then achieving their relationship plan for success would be far easier.
Go now on a search, discover the strengths your partner has that you don’t and discover how you could both use these unique qualities to grow your relationship.
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