Relationships: Getting Back to the Basics

There are some fundamental basics that when in place will make a significant difference to any relationship.

Relationships are a place to give. Anyone who enters a relationship to take what they need will find themselves in problems very fast. Some people do give, but they give so they can get back. This causes problems too because this is a trade and anyone who trades love will find they lose passion fast. A loss of passion is a big relationship killer.

So giving love unconditionally is critical, anyone choosing to not do this is creating an uncertain future and weakening the foundations of a relationship they want to keep. This happens because as the love comes and goes fear enters the couple bit-by-bit and this builds resentment.

The individuals in the relationship have to meet their core needs, “love” being one of them or problems will start to appear. Not understanding your partners core needs can cause them to know you don’t understand them. For example a man could be showing her his version of what love is, in his mind he gives love every day, but to her she never really feels loved in the way she wants, so she doesn’t feel loved.

The couple will have critical needs and if they are not met then they will have no choice but to go outside the relationship to fulfil them so understanding your partners critical needs has to be a number one priority.

If their needs are not met the couple will start to feel the shift as they feel less important to their partner and so the future can start to feel less certain.

If this happens the couple will experience fear of some kind and they can start to feel different as the relationships changes.

When this happens they experience a possible loss of trust because if the future was a reflection of the past it would feel very worrying, or for some, not exist at all.

If you can’t trust your partner to meet your needs the future no longer looks certain. Intimacy now takes a back seat in the relationship.

Planning a future that is a real adventure through life together is equally important. Most people have no relationship plan. If they do it usually stops at having children.

Couples need a real plan, a reason for why they are together. If they can pull together towards that vision then they will feel they are a team.

Happiness is not a powerful goal. How will the happiness happen? Do you share the same vision? So why are you together? What do you want to achieve together?

Love is critical but it’s not enough on it’s own.

These are a few of the basics most couples forget or don’t know. Either way have fun exploring each other again.

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About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.