Should we break up or stay together?

You know something is not right in your relationship, you have been feeling this way for a while. You know you have been ignoring those signs, but now they’re becoming too big and obvious.

You’ve started to notice that you are no longer YOU, you don’t like who you have become and you seem to have lost sight of your goals and why you were attracted to each other. Intimacy has died and you’re not even friends.

You may have some feelings of love left from the past, but today you just don’t feel in love with your partner. You may even feel detached or emotionally numb around them.

You have this overwhelming urge to no longer occupy the same space as your partner so friends, family and work now seem a really attractive use of your time.

Are you at the point where you are asking the question…

…Should we break up or stay together

The reason anyone feels this way is because they changed who they are to survive in the relationship.

So breaking up might be the right solution for you, but before you do make that decision think about this.

  1. What would have happened if you had never changed who you really are in this relationship? I know you are a caring loving person so why are you holding that back being who you are?
  2. What would have happened if when you met you had both worked on really understanding each others core needs?
  3. What would have happened if at the point of conflict you knew how to grow the relationship into a deeper love?
  4. What would have happened if you really understood each other dreams and you helped each other to achieve them?
  5. What would have happened if you had both taken the time to learn the differences between the sexes and why they acted they way they do?
  6. What would have happened if love really was the driving force in your relationship instead of lack of respect and resentment.

Understanding why your relationship is breaking down is critical because unless you know, you could find you self in the same type of relationship all over again.

Of course understanding why your relationship has broken down could help you to see there might be hope.

Imagine if you knew the answers to those six questions where would your relationship be in three months?

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. Gosh, this could have been written for me!