Should we save our marriage?

Saving a marriage can seem an impossible feat especially if you’re in a marriage where no matter what you do it doesn’t seem to have any positive effect. It’s especially challenging when the trust is broken and for some, impossible when years of disconnection helps the individuals feel their love has died permanently.

Feelings in these situation are powerful, but many couples are learning that what they feel today can change. So trusting feelings that can break up a family must be met with some caution.

Most of the couples I work with come for my help through personal recommendations, or from professional recommendations such as Lawyers, GP’s, Psychologists etc.

Personally am very proud of the results couples are receiving. A recent couple said “…without my help their marriage would now be over”. This couple is Case No.1** illustrated below.

Each day I am dealing with some of the biggest and most challenging situations where on the surface divorce really does seem like the only solution.

Cases like…

  • Case No.1. **The couple who ended up physically punching each other through frustration.
  • Case No.2. The man who didn’t know what to do when his wife kept cheating on him with a younger man.
  • Case No.3. The man that emotionally abandoned his wife, leading her to an affair because she thought the marriage was over.
  • Case No.4. The man who fell in love with a prostitute and was planning to leave his wife.
  • Case No.5. The woman that hired a private investigator to follow her husband to the other side of the world only to catch him meeting a call girl.
  • Case No.6. The man that had an affair that resulted in a child and was confused who he really loved.

For some couples divorce is the right solution. 

  • Case No.7. One recent couple attended a session and I told them that they should NOT work on their marriage. I explained as it stood their marriage was genuinely dead and an intervention would cause unnecessary suffering.Those two individuals chose to work with me individually to rebuild their lives.

To answer the message “should we save our marriage?” The simple answer is it should be explored because at one time every couple created a dynamic that did work. The reasons why it failed needs to be understood before ‘TIME’ is called.

Many couples lose the essence of what brought them together. So in reaction to each other they both create changes that disable their connection without them knowing.

  • The question is can the couple rediscover what brought them together?
  • Can the couple learn how they collapsed their relationship?
  • Can the couple learn how to create the actions it really needed to keep the it alive, passionate and growing?

These are a few of the question I am asking whilst I’m helping them decide if they have a chance to rebuild and reconnect for life.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.