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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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The critical starting strategy needed to solve couples problems

Yes there has to be a strategy because all couples can’t be helped the in the exact same way. Each couple will have a very unique challenge and so their solution has to reflect this.

What’s important to understand is that all individuals have a complex layering of needs, beliefs and values that’s combined with their personal experience of their relationship so far.

This will be automatically creating their specific relationship dynamic. Their dynamic will either lead them to a connection that works for them, or to an emotional disconnection, which of course eventually leads many couple to divorce.

Persistent marriage problems will create heightened sensitivity in both people, so when working with any couple the way to solve any marital challenge is to do so gently and powerfully. It must be conducted in a way that helps the couple agree that each step is talking them to a much safer and potentially more connected place.

The starting point: Whenever I’m working with a couple my first job is to understand where they really are?

This is important because most couples will be making their bad situation much worse by misunderstanding where they really are.

For example: I see so many couples come into the sessions who are trying to stop their partner leaving the relationship. They have not realised emotionally their partner has already left, so instead of making progress they are simply irritating their partner into a cast iron position of wanting a divorce.

So if you want to make progress then respecting your partners position who wants to leave is critical. This can help your partner to become far less protective and potentially more open to exploring the relationship with you.  This of course is just one of the many perceptual positions a couple can find themselves in.

The bigger picture is couples may have a perception of how bad their situation is, but getting to their reality is the skill that’s needed to help them successfully move forward.

Some feel their relationship is worse than it is and some are totally unaware their relationship has temporarily died.

My point here is knowing where you are today is the most critical step. I’m never concerned how bad a couple is because I’ve seem the most desperate cases turn into amazing successes.

My big concern is that if we are going to plot a course from where they are to where they would like to be, we must understand tangibly what those two points are so the correct strategy can implemented.

Once we know where the couple really are today only then are we able to help them on a journey to understand how they got there and how to help them create lasting success in the future.

Of course some couples come in wanting me to fix their problems and some who have suffered for years simply want to learn if success is actually possible because, their experience has given them grave concerns for the future.

So as you can see the first step is understanding where the couple really is today. From this point we can understand how bad their relationship really is and build a strategy from this starting point.

Far too many couples are missing this critical starting point and are trying to solve their marital problems from the wrong starting point only to discover they have been making their situation much much worse.

This is why I run Initial Consultation Assessments for all couples: I need to assess where the couple is really before we agree to start any work together.

This way I can help a couple understand the strategy needed to get them to where they say they want to be.

Please click the link to book your Initial Consultation Assessment

 

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?
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Over 1300 Relationship Articles



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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Marriage Blueprint Quiz

The 5C Marriage Blueprint Scorecard reveals the hidden strengths and struggles in your relationship. In just 4 minutes, get personalised insights — and know exactly where to focus next.

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF
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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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