The Staggering Power of Our Perceptions – The good and the bad!

Every situation has many ways to look at it, so when presented with a situation, which way do you choose? Do you look for the good? Or do you look for the bad?

Are you aware of what you create from these two directions of focus? If not then this post is for you.

Our perceptions are very powerful, it puts meaning to situations and our lives, those meanings then craft our behaviours, and our behaviours craft our futures.

I will use money as an example to demonstrate this principal because we can all relate to money, but this example could easily be related to relationships, careers or any problem we face.

For example: Let say the person has no money. No matter how positive the person gets at the end of the day they still have no money. So a positive focus alone doesn’t create more money!

So no matter how they dress it up, and they could fake happiness, but they would still have no money, so what’s the point? The result of this perspective is the person runs their habitual coping pattern which keeps them in a poor state emotionally, focused on what’s wrong in their lives.

The surface problem here is a “lack of money”, the perspective/focus is on the “lack of money”. If the person decides to see this as bad, they put themselves in an emotionally resourceless state always focused on what’s wrong.

The way our mind works is any focus is actually a goal, so a “lack of money” becomes their goal. Being negative, upset, down on the world is the perfect state for NOT creating money so they always live a life with a “lack of money”!

The longer they have no money the more they feel they have proof it only happens to others so they give up.

If they focused their mind to what they want i.e. “creating money” and creation of a plan to achieve it, they will create a different emotional state, seeing the quest for money as an adventure a challenge, even fun.

Most at this stage will block themselves again by focusing on another problem i.e. “I don’t know how to do it?” So the mind complies and shows them how NOT to do it. They now receive more proof towards the bad and the emotional downward spiral continues!

If you want amazing things to happen in your life you have to generate the right version of you to create it. If you want more money there is so much information around teaching the principals.

Will it happen overnight? Probably not, but within a few years anyone from no money could create a plan that would significantly change their financial status and most people have a few years.

With anything you want you need to focus on what you want and create a plan to get it.

No plan is a plan too, it is a plan to fail.

With relationships the model is the same. A person is so focused on what’s wrong with their relationship they miss what’s good and so the fear becomes their focus, and therfore their goal.

The result the relationship bit-by-bit dies.

So one emotional state is consistently proven to NOT work in all areas of our lives, this is the focus on what’s wrong!

Do this and failure and a life of “lack” is guaranteed.

What you NOW do is up to you!

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.


  1. I have found this logic to be true for me. I have General Anxiety Disorder that is associated to the disability I have from a stroke. In other words, the disorder is a physical thing that effects me emotionally.

    I have learned to look at the problems in life in a more calm me asking myself, “What would I rather have?, “How can I get it from here?”

    Makes it easier to deal with all the ups and downs in life.

    • Stephen Hedger says:

      Thank you for commenting Glynis

      Yes it’s the only successful way to create what you want. Cleary you have discovered this from a significantly challenged place. I take my hat off to you.

      To your success…