As you scan through todays post you will start to notice if this is in your relationship. If it is then please make it your mission to change it because it is one of the fundamental behaviors that create a marriage breakdown.
No matter how your partner is behaving they will have an intent that sits behind what they do or say. If you assume their intent is anything other than good then you will rock their core foundations and they will see you as someone they can’t be with.
If you question someones intent you are questioning their identity.
Anyone that feels they can’t be themselves in the relationship will be suffering or planning an escape. Loving couples don’t want their partner to suffer, so if you want to keep your relationship this is critical to understand.
I urge you to learn about your partner.If what they are doing looks and feels like it is bad for you, communicate how what they are doing makes you feel.
This doesn’t question the intent which is your goal.
- I.E. When you did that I felt this…. Rather than YOU make me feel…
There is a massive difference between feedback and criticism.
If you notice your partner is in a troubled state of mind it’s important that you show them love and understanding rather than making their pain about you. When one person is focused on themselves through an emotional it’s a real challenge, but when both people do this consistently the relationship will be dying as the trust dies.
There is no doubt that relationships are painful, the pain is there to help you grow closer together. If together you can love each other no matter what happens then your bond will grow too and as the trust builds so the pain will go too.
So don’t assume you know why your partner is behaving badly you will probably find that their actions are a cry for help rather than a means to hurt you.
If you know your partner is out to hurt you physically or emotionally then get out of your relationship.
The percentage of couples in this space of causing pain on purpose are very small so be sure you know the truth. Take responsibility and rebuild the trust by assuming good.