When does a relationship start to die?

Many relationships are dying long before the couple realise there is a real problem.

Some people will bury their heads in the sand and do nothing hoping that any problems they have will just go away and some will start a search.

So what is the danger sign that you need to look out for? What is the one thing that’s guaranteed to accelerate your problems?

Many people are watching their partners every move, or watching what their partner says and does. They start to piece together all the things that are wrong in their relationship and they find more and more things that could equal their partners don’t love them or care enough.

So as these people start their search what should they be looking out for?

They should be asking themselves why are they so focused on themselves?

You see a relationship starts to die when a person is focused on themselves and what they are not getting.

If a person goes to a relationship to get what they need, this is a core reason why a relationship will fail. Relationships are a place to give not to take, so the moment a person is focused on what their partner is not doing they are focused on themselves.

So if you don’t want your relationship to die, then give because when you give that’s when you’ll feel those things you have  been missing.

If you hold back you stop feeling and that’s why people go on a search for what’s wrong. The more they hold back the worse they feel and this creates fear in you and in your partner who is likely to mirror your actions.

So we end up with two people holding back, not feeling because they are no longer giving and they wonder why their relationship is in trouble.


  • Don’t ever pull your love away – you’ll be in conflict with yourself and that equals pain for you!
  • Don’t ever punish your partner – They will only mirror your actions and feelings that equals pain for you both.
  • Don’t ever judge or criticise – You’re not qualified to know how they really feel and they will resent you for it.
  • And don’t ever make your relationship about YOU especially if you want to keep it.

The question every couple has to ask is how can we grow what we have?

The clear answer is to give, learn what you and your partner needs and give them your gifts.

Quick Reminder: The Relationship/Marriage Home Study Course special offer closes at midnight tomorrow check it out here.

About Stephen Hedger

International relationship expert Stephen Hedger's philosophy on relationship problems is this: Couples fail to understand their relationships because they are too focused on their problems and so they totally miss what created them. Stephen's approach is a refreshing and enlightening journey that helps couples uncover their truth. His strategies uncover the knowledge that all couples need to create a successful and lasting passionate connection. If you are in crisis and you need help, book an initial consultation today to get your life back on track.