Do you have some days when you just want to give up. Relationship is up and down, work is getting more demanding, keeping up with all the things you know you should do seems impossible, you can’t remember the last time you had sex and you’re so fed up it doesn’t seem to matter, life is just a bit #@$>!
We all have those days, weeks, months, when the world seems to be against us. It’s not that we’re lazy, it’s like there is an overwhelming feeling of what’s it all for? You feel somewhat helpless…
I expect you look at relationship coaches and counsellors and psychologists and make the assumption that their lives are some how perfect. Rest assured we all face relationship challenges just like everyone else.
No matter how good you are at understanding human behaviour even the very best cannot help themselves or their partners to feel good in the moment all the time.
I remember before I really understood how relationships work and why they don’t, how out of control things can feel. Of course today for me is very different as 95% of what happens is much easier to deal with the other 5% needing some thought.
I have no doubt that sometimes you just want to scream as yet more relationship problems land at your feet. So I expect when you read this blog that explains how to deal with your partner or you read about how happy couples are after working with me your natural reaction could be jealousy, anger, hurt, frustration.
If you experience a negative force within you understand this: Your mind can be a force that can work with you, or against you and you have the power to choose.
One of the reason why couples are so successful with me is not because they are any better than other couples. The reason is they never gave up. They never gave up, no matter how tough the sessions became, or how much they felt they hated their partners for what they had done.
They kept going even when they didn’t want to. They believed they could make things right even when they didn’t know how.
Even when I gave them things to do that didn’t work at that moment, they kept going. The biggest killer is when individuals doubt themselves, doubt that they are enough for the relationship, not attractive enough, not lovable, not a good enough mother or father.
Even when friends and family jump to their defence telling them, their partner is not good enough for them and share their version of what they should do based on what their life experience tell them they should do, they never listen and never give up.
The answers are within you and your relationship. But as you know there are many different versions of you and some will hurt you and some will give you happiness.
Know which one is making decisions before you press the button on your relationship.
Turn your focus to where you want to go and not where you have been. Your past is simply a series of memories based on the state you are in at any given time and the meanings you gave it from that state.
Your history is not the fact you think it is there is much you do not understand or may have missed.
Remember your life is a series of perceptions. When you learn how you can create the ones that enable you to be the emotional state that will support your personal and relationship growth only then will you accept tough days and put actions in place to experience the world just the way you want to.
Your future is really down to you, if you want to understand your relationship and life then the biggest hurdle is to understand and conquer you.
Then being positive when life gets challenging is never as hard again.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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