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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“Age doesn’t grow wisdom”!

Age doesn’t grow a tree of wisdom if destructive thinking is the seed they keep planting.

I had a couple in their late 50’s come to me because they were in crisis. I could hear she was slightly embarrassed at this need for help so she said.

“We really should know better at our age shouldn’t we”!?

Age only grows wisdom if the passing of time is full of learning.

Too many people either stop learning at school, or they only grow a rich understanding of their profession or passion.

That creates an even bigger problem as people who are genuinely wise in one part of their lives are under the illusion that their wisdom is now in everything they touch.

It’s not true at all, I meet very powerful business people who have not understood how to be successful relationship partners.

The problem with this misplaced confidence it means when things go wrong they don’t look at themselves as the problem because they are the successful ones.

Life will only grow what you plant.

As a child I remember planting a tree, the label said plum tree.

As the years passed eventually the tree bore fruit – PEARS!!!

WHAT!!! I was shocked.

So it didn’t matter how much I believed I was growing plums, pears were always going to be the end result.

The brain will grow whatever a person plants so you must be careful that what you think or chose to believe will actually take you to the life you desire.

I know many men think their wives are impossible to please, is that true or have they just not understood how to give them what they really need?

If she is “impossible to please” that’s a dead-end statement that leads men to want a divorce – these men are not seeing wisdom at all, just the limitations of what they know.

Many women think their husband has no empathy. This is also a dead-end statement that could mean he doesn’t care and that could lead her to emotionally disconnect.

Most men do care, but what they are is lost with what she wants and so the resentment of always failing with her can lead him to give up.

What if his lack of empathy is really his lack of understanding because he would never connect to what she is going through emotionally because men are emotionally very different to women.

Men are not versions of women at all and so ironically where is the empathy for that challenge?

You see the wrong belief or thinking is the seed that will grow a tree of ignorance.

In truth wisdom can only be created when a person is able to connect to more than what they know.

Curiosity, learning, courage and a desire to embrace vulnerability are some of the qualities that are foundations for successful marriages.

In so many cases women know that something is very wrong, but can’t tell their husband what he has to do to help her because she doesn’t know.

Men are lost because he keeps trying to use his male logic to solve a female logic problem and he keeps being confused because he keeps failing with her.

The first step on the road to your wisdom is knowing that when you look at your partners’ problem(s) from your own perspective then you’ll misdiagnose the real problem every time.

The thinking has to change before the real solutions will appear and that’s because your partner is driven differently, has different needs and is trying to get to a very unique place emotionally to keep the passion, love and attraction alive.

So you are either helping them get there or you are killing their path to those critical emotions.

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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
  • “What if I’m not enough?”
  • “Another 5 Years Like This? No Way!”
  • In Crisis, their Minds Destroyed Their Lives
  • “Couples are failing at the basics…”
  • “You Might Be in the Wrong Relationship… But Not for the Reason You Think…”
  • Case Studies: “How Changing Your Perspective Can Fix Your Relationship—Here’s Proof”

Over 1300 Relationship Articles


Categories

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  • Communication (70)
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  • Loss of Love (43)
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  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
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  • Relationship Stories (24)
  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (42)
  • Separation & Divorce (9)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

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  • Divorce Prevention
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  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.


Click to Download FREE

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Recent Clients: New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
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*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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