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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Can’t communicate with your partner?

Can’t get through to your partner? Arguments going round in circles?

Poor communication skills is a foundational reason why so many couples part.

This is because their “natural inability” to hear each other is forming proof that they cannot get along, which can cause permanent disconnects so this has to be put right.

This is why I am not a fan of couples talking about their problems without them knowing how to hear each other correctly.

You’ve probably heard the sentence when two people are shouting, no one is listening.

I want to expand on it so you can see how deep it really goes.

Below are 3 reasons why couples will naturally struggle to hear each other, to be clear there are more than just 3 but I want to give you a flavour of why you are struggling.

To be honest with you I’d be surprised if you were not struggling.

Accurately hearing a partner so what they say makes sense and secondly enables you to become a positive influencer is a skill that is not common.

Almost like learning a new language, nobody is naturally good at this no matter how intuitive they think they are.

1. Resentment

What are the chances of someone interested in hearing their partners concerns about them when they are full of resentment and actively self-protecting?

Yes, that’s right, not high!

In fact, resentment not only stops the person hearing or wanting to hear, it can block or numb a persons feelings.

This compounds and accelerates the communication problems.

2. Men and women communicate differently

When most men speak, they have a particular agenda that is different from women’s.

What interesting is most people are unaware of these agenda differences and see their version as normal.

This means their perception of their partners agenda as abnormal, difficult or problematic.

Of course it’s another difference that is commonly misunderstood.

Most couples are blind to this comprehension problem, so they don’t hear the correct meaning behind what each other is trying to say and this causes frustration.

This disconnect can create resistance, loss of alignment, loss of connection and emotional security.

The next challenge is the identity they are in when they listen to their partner’s words.

3. Identity

They are highly likely to listen from an identity of judgement and blame, so can negatively spin anything their partner says, no matter how innocent.

These identities can be from a position of victim, depression, to business person to parent.

Can you see the reason couples have problems?

They are supposed to communicate differently so they will naturally struggle unless they know how to translate not just the words, but the true meaning behind the words.

This why putting couples in crisis a room to talk about their problems won’t result in a good outcome unless they are both motivated to hear without judgement and can listen with accurate comprehension.

Category iconCommunication,  Marriage Coaching

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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