Misunderstanding one: You have to love yourself before others will love you.
I hear this misunderstanding a lot.
So I asked one gentleman who said this to me what did he think it meant?
“Do you take yourself into a room and give yourself a big hug”? I asked.
His answer was to spend time doing things he liked doing, most of which was without his partner.
He saw loving himself as “ME” time.
Nothing wrong with that, but how does he love himself when he is with his partner was my question?
He has misunderstood. The way to love yourself is to consistently become the love you say is important.
Becoming “the love” is how you give yourself love.
In other words, you must become “the love” whilst bringing love, care, kindness and connection to others.
Emotionally healthy adults enjoy connecting and contributing value to others, especially those they care about.
The gift is in the giving that both people will share.
So loving yourself is not about giving yourself a treat, although there is nothing wrong with some me-time.
The “giving yourself love” is about becoming that love and bringing that to the world around you.
Not becoming what you value causes so much emotional pain and suffering as a person’s emotional energy is always off centre.
Some know something is wrong, but can’t put their finger on it.
The true art of living is about becoming what you value and bring that value to the world.
Most people are not aware of what that means, so they live disconnected lives with themselves and as a result others.
That’s emotionally hard on themselves and those they care about.
- More relationship misunderstandings are coming this week…