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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Compatibility In A Relationship

This is a question that I get asked almost every day… “are we compatible?” When relationships go wrong it’s the most obvious question. People worry “Maybe the relationship happened too fast, maybe we had children too quickly?”

It’s true that many people rush into relationships without thought.

Most people go into relationships based on a combination of key factors such as it was easy geographically i.e we worked together or live in the same town.

Initially they experienced chemistry felt comfortable that they could sustain the relationship and then despite initial concerns something keeps them together such as their belief system i.e. “…married people should never part” or they have children, or maybe they started a business together.

So it is possible that couples could find themselves with the wrong partner out of convenience, pressure or guilt.

So the question is this: Are we right for each other?

If you are asking the “are we compatible” question then you need to consider the following of yourself.

  • Am I going to my relationship to give or to get?
  • Have I set up lots of rules my partner has to meet before i’m happy?
  • Has my mission been to discover my partner needs and contribute to him or her?

What usually happens is through fear, the individuals in the couple stop giving and start taking and controlling. This creates more fear as their partner backs off in response and so now neither are meeting each others needs and now the relationship is dying.

The starting point when assessing compatibility really has to be with the individuals first.

Because unless you have learned to love yourself and to give to yourself their is no way possible that you can give to others unless you are looking for them to validate you in someway. Giving to get is not honest it creates fear and kills passion.

So your compatibility with your partner starts with you being true to you, being who you are at your core is critical because only then can you give the true you to your partner.

The next question is, can they be a great partner for you?

  • Are they committed to giving in the relationship
  • Have they made meeting your needs in the way you need it their mission?
  • What happens if they did? How would you feel?

The next question is if they knew what they had to do to be successful with you, would they do it?

You see if someone truly loved their partner they would do anything for them. Usually people are more motivated to meeting their partner needs if they are fulling their own personal goals and they feel they can be themselves.

Would your partner do anything for you?

Are we compatible for life?

  • Do we share the same needs, values and beliefs?
  • Do we have shared goals in life?
  • Are we a team?
  • Do we support each others quest and goals?
  • Are we matched sexually?

As you can see compatibility has many factors. If you want to discover your compatibility then you have to become who you were designed to be, the real you. Becoming the real you in your relationship will impact your partner differently and then we can see if two people are behaving true to themselves what is possible? Are you made for each other or is there someone else out there for you?

The good news

It’s very likely that if you had chemistry historically and your core needs are shared then igniting the relationship will be possible.

Human behavior is more conditioned to move away from pain than it is to move towards gaining pleasure, especially if it feels it has enough proof that he or she has tried everything and the pleasure is impossible.

Most people try what they know to fix their relationship and with little knowledge in building a successful relationships they know very little.

  • So before you pull your relationship apart. Come and find out what is possible for you?

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “STOP making YOUR partners upset about YOU!”
  • “Never try to change your partner”
  • Retired couple in crisis “We should know better at our age!”
  • “He wants to leave the marriage”
  • Never make anything more important than your partner – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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