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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Compatibility In A Relationship

This is a question that I get asked almost every day… “are we compatible?” When relationships go wrong it’s the most obvious question. People worry “Maybe the relationship happened too fast, maybe we had children too quickly?”

It’s true that many people rush into relationships without thought.

Most people go into relationships based on a combination of key factors such as it was easy geographically i.e we worked together or live in the same town.

Initially they experienced chemistry felt comfortable that they could sustain the relationship and then despite initial concerns something keeps them together such as their belief system i.e. “…married people should never part” or they have children, or maybe they started a business together.

So it is possible that couples could find themselves with the wrong partner out of convenience, pressure or guilt.

So the question is this: Are we right for each other?

If you are asking the “are we compatible” question then you need to consider the following of yourself.

  • Am I going to my relationship to give or to get?
  • Have I set up lots of rules my partner has to meet before i’m happy?
  • Has my mission been to discover my partner needs and contribute to him or her?

What usually happens is through fear, the individuals in the couple stop giving and start taking and controlling. This creates more fear as their partner backs off in response and so now neither are meeting each others needs and now the relationship is dying.

The starting point when assessing compatibility really has to be with the individuals first.

Because unless you have learned to love yourself and to give to yourself their is no way possible that you can give to others unless you are looking for them to validate you in someway. Giving to get is not honest it creates fear and kills passion.

So your compatibility with your partner starts with you being true to you, being who you are at your core is critical because only then can you give the true you to your partner.

The next question is, can they be a great partner for you?

  • Are they committed to giving in the relationship
  • Have they made meeting your needs in the way you need it their mission?
  • What happens if they did? How would you feel?

The next question is if they knew what they had to do to be successful with you, would they do it?

You see if someone truly loved their partner they would do anything for them. Usually people are more motivated to meeting their partner needs if they are fulling their own personal goals and they feel they can be themselves.

Would your partner do anything for you?

Are we compatible for life?

  • Do we share the same needs, values and beliefs?
  • Do we have shared goals in life?
  • Are we a team?
  • Do we support each others quest and goals?
  • Are we matched sexually?

As you can see compatibility has many factors. If you want to discover your compatibility then you have to become who you were designed to be, the real you. Becoming the real you in your relationship will impact your partner differently and then we can see if two people are behaving true to themselves what is possible? Are you made for each other or is there someone else out there for you?

The good news

It’s very likely that if you had chemistry historically and your core needs are shared then igniting the relationship will be possible.

Human behavior is more conditioned to move away from pain than it is to move towards gaining pleasure, especially if it feels it has enough proof that he or she has tried everything and the pleasure is impossible.

Most people try what they know to fix their relationship and with little knowledge in building a successful relationships they know very little.

  • So before you pull your relationship apart. Come and find out what is possible for you?
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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship - June 26, 2025
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?” - June 26, 2025
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage - June 26, 2025

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship
  • Passionless Marriage: “Sex life dying – want to know why?”
  • Coping with an Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Save Your Marriage
  • Feeling Torn Between Two Relationships?
  • How to Help Spouse Heal After Affair?
  • How to Rebuild Emotional Safety (Without Needing Them to Go First)
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Over 1300 Relationship Articles



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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • The 5C Marriage Blueprint: The Foundation Every Relationship Needs to Thrive
  • The Silent Killer of Marriages: When You Stop Being You
  • Emotional Intimacy in Marriage: The Key to Trust, Connection, and Lasting Passion
  • Please Save Our Marriage – My Wife has Asked for a Divorce
  • Loss of Love? How to Save Your Relationship

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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