• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

New Clients: +44 (0)845 519 4808

Existing Clients +44 (0)20 3793 2829

Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • FAQ
  • Clients Success Stories
  • About
  • Appointments
  • Blog

Do You Know Someone Like This?

Too many people are trying to control their outside world so they can feel good and this is really hard work. They end up feeling empty and detached from their true authentic self, some confused end up looking for reasons to blame others for how they feel.

Inside they feel that something is wrong so they need to rebalance their world, over time a behaviour is born to cope, it becomes their thing to do when life feels wrong.

What’s interesting is someone in this place will become addicted to a behaviour, but will not make the connection that the behaviour has to be repeated constantly for it to work, so it actually doesn’t work.

It is this repetition that makes it exhausting and empties the person of their resources and energy.

Whatever the person is trying to control is not and will never be the lasting solution to the problem.

Examples of controlling behaviours

  1. A jealous man tries to control his partners’ movements so she doesn’t meet other men that could take her away from him. She ends up feeling trapped and not trusted, he becomes weak in her eyes and so she finds someone strong. If this man had become an amazingly strong partner for her rather than getting weak she would never have looked at another man, because her core needs would have been met.
  2. A woman who gets up at 6.00am to tidy and clean her house every day before feeding the kids and then going to work. She is trying to control what she can control because at least she has some certainty in her life. But this behaviour is designed to mask where she doesn’t feel certain and that’s in her marriage. Constant focus on the house and everything being in it’s place serves to alienate her further from her husband who was actually not helping her to feel safe initially which is why she controlled what she could – “the house”.
  3. Her husband was a good man they met as friends, but over the years she felt something was wrong. She became stronger to cope with this feeling and it detached her from her true self. In this detached place she decided the marriage was over. Through fear she had crippled her feelings and almost lost her marriage. Her husband came for help and he became so strong he created the behaviours that help her reconnect with herself again.
  4. He decides he will feel more attractive and far better if he has a hair transplant. His premature baldness has affected his self-esteem so after many thousands of pounds and now with a thick head of hair does he feel better? “No” was the answer. His lack of self-esteem was not about how many hairs were on his head, it was about his lack of self-worth based on an overly protective mother. He never knew how to be the man he was designed to be.

I could go on, mothers try to control grown up married sons which results in alienating his wife, husbands try to control the money, wives control the intimacy, men control the intimacy. Withholding love, judging each other, assumptions, anger, depression illnesses, all these kinds of behaviours and more have been used to control their outside world.

You see the controlling in whatever form it takes meets the person needs where their life/relationship doesn’t, BUT their needs are met in such low level ways they will never be happy.

Is this you? Is this your partner?  Please don’t suffer with this, understand it, break through it and create a life you can look back and be proud of.

“Control is only destructive if it is designed by fear” – Stephen Hedger

Category iconUncategorized

"Follow simple yet powerful steps designed to save and reignite a marriage fast no matter what has happened"

"Click to Claim Your FREE Consultation Now!"



Recent Posts

  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?
  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
  • “What if I’m not enough?”
  • “Another 5 Years Like This? No Way!”
  • In Crisis, their Minds Destroyed Their Lives
  • “Couples are failing at the basics…”
  • “You Might Be in the Wrong Relationship… But Not for the Reason You Think…”

Over 1300 Relationship Articles


Categories

  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (70)
  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (38)
  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
  • Marriage Coaching (424)
  • Marriage Mastery Assessment (1)
  • Masculine & Feminine (9)
  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
  • Personal Development (105)
  • Rebuilding trust (39)
  • Relationship Stories (24)
  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (42)
  • Separation & Divorce (9)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

Primary Sidebar

I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

Popular Posts

  • Women are struggling, but men don’t understand why
  • Built an Empire and lost a Family
  • Marriage in Limbo
  • Rebuilding Connection & Trust
  • Divorce Regret
  • Divorce Prevention
  • Resentment Stacking
  • 36 Principles For Success
  • My Wife is Aggressive
  • A Wise Old Man's Decision
  • I was in tears
  • Tourtured by the past

Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.


Click to Download FREE

Footer

Expert Help Available Worldwide via Zoom

For assistance from Stephen, contact his team at:

📞 +44 (0)845 519 4808


Recent Clients: New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • The Marriage Quiz
  • Coaching Services
  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
  • Cloe Hedger (Stephen’s wife)
  • Marriage Breakthrough Program
  • Individual Coaching
  • About
  • Clients Success Stories
  • Explore 1,300+ FREE articles designed to help you navigate impossible challenges using fresh insights.
  • FAQs
  • Mission: Vision: Values:

Recent Posts

  • Do You Know Your Values & Why They Are So Important?
  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
Apply For Help Here Now...

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

Terms & Privacy Policy      Copyright © 2025 StephenHedger.com. All rights reserved. Company No.08279028    Return to top