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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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What Have You Been Doing Without Knowing To Make Your Life Worse?

I know many will ignore this, but for you, I hope you take your time to understand the magnitude of what you are about to read so next year can really be the way you want it.

As 2011 draws to a close I wonder as you reflect on this year what has been your primary focus. I wonder what you have spent most of your time directing your mind to. It’s important to understand this because it’s why your life is the way it is now. If you’re not happy with what you’ve got then clearly a change has to be on the cards for you!

In this post today I will share with you what I believe to be one of the most important messages you will ever receive

Take a moment to think: What have you been feeling and thinking about this year and why?

Most people have problems of some kind, but what’s interesting is because the problem becomes their focus, all the persons’ energy is directed towards the problem.

This focus magnifies their perception of their problem

What the person wants most is for the problem to go away, but they are sabotaging themselves, because whilst they are focused on the problem instead of it going away, it is actually getting bigger and more frightening.

If they practice doing this for long enough they create/make a focus that becomes an automatic pattern to alert the person to feel even more fear. The more they fear the more they focus on what’s wrong, the snowball effect is now in place destroying the persons life and limiting them from living the life they want.

Any person in this place will be trying to rebalance their world, but they will be doing it from a perspective of limitation. Their core values and beliefs are ignored as they focus on their fear and how to escape it. From an outside persepctive the person will have seemed to have changed, inside they feel stuck, removed, living a existance rather than a life.

  • But the good thing is our focus can snowball towards good to! All you have to do, is know how.

So if the person is primarily focused on their problems in a relationship, it’s really easy in this place find even more problems. So we can scare ourselves silly from a totally distorted perspective.

I see people in my sessions, they believe their distortion so much they destroy their relationship in their quest to stay safe.

So know this, whatever you have ended up with this year, good or bad is going to be as a result of your focus and the actions or lack of them.

As soon as you get this concept and I know many won’t, but some of you will, then you’ll start to feel different and in control of your life.

Now you know you have created your own destructive pattern of focus, the next question is how do I change it or make it go away?

The answer is simple: You have to retrain your mind in the same way you did for fear, but this time towards what you want, not what you don’t.

What this means is for you to direct your mind towards the life you want, the possible solutions/action you need to take to make it happen. It is quite possible you have no idea what you do want , or what the solutions are, especially in relationships. So the solution is simple if you don’t know, find someone who does and learn from them.

If your relationships is failing, or you’re feel low or depressed ask yourself this. “How did I do this to myself, what do I really want and what has to happen for me to get it?”

Remember if you don’t know, find out! If you change your focus you’ll change you life!

  • I really hope you get this because it is probably the most important message you’ll ever recieve. As I said many will miss the point here, but I sincerley hope for you, that this is the moment that sparks the change in you to go insearch of your truth.

If you have experienced this kind of change for you please feel free to share your journey in the comments below so other may learn from you.

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Success Stories

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Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

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This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

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Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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