Too many couples wait far too long before they seek help. Men in particular are really struggling to see how bad the relationship really is for her and he only wakes up to the true severity of the problem when she says she doesn’t love him, or she wants out.
So many men have sat in my sessions totally confused about how it got so bad so fast. The truth is for her it’s likely to have been bad for a while he has just missed the signs.
The chances are for her the problems have been consciously present for at least two years. Some women communicate problems and fears from the start of the relationship.
It’s very possible she has been telling him, but he has not been connecting with the impact of him not taking the right actions. To be fair there are some men that do listen and do take action, but the action they take doesn’t work.
It doesn’t work because he translates what he thinks she wants rather than truly understanding the depth and root cause of her unhappiness.
I see so many men miss her point and as soon as she tells him she’s no longer in love with him, he starts to act in ways which further prove he doesn’t understand her.
So at the point she is suffering from emotional detachment, how will becoming super practical around the home help her? She has probably lived in a transactional relationship for years longing for a deeper connection. So getting practically busy is “nice” but it proves he doesn’t get it.
Apart from becoming super practical men can also loose control emotionally and come across as weak and needy. I have not yet met a woman that looking for a weak and needy man so this will further compound the problem.
Men also run around pressuring her to change her mind, it’s going have taken her years to get to this point so changing her mind is going to feel impossible to her. The more pressure he puts on, the faster she will run.
All these kind of activities helps her to feel sad for him which is not the emotion she needs to have when she thinks of “her man”.
These are just a few of the problems the men are facing, but there is a light.
When men get very busy initially trying to fix her problems, it does send her into confusion. You see she might have thought for years he didn’t care how she felt. If this happens he has to take action in a way that can she can connect to in a meaningful way.
To become a successful partner for her it’s so important to learn about her. Don’t assume she knows you love her, don’t think the job or the money is the thing that keeps her love alive for you.
Don’t assume what you are doing is going to work, find out.
If you are in serious problems now take action and book an initial consultation.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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