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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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He said She said…

Many couples arrive at my sessions very keen to share the story of their pain and suffering.

They want me to know what their partner did wrong.

They want me to see their version of events so I can back them up.

People that come to me with these stories are so wrapped up with what happened that they are missing the very thing that will help them gain a truth, a truth that will affect the rest of their lives.

So when a wife tells me of his affair if I’m to help them I will not sit in judgement of either person and take sides.

Friends may take sides, but as someone who wants to give the truth of their situation a chance, taking sides is not a productive action.

When a husband tells me his wife is constantly aggressive and negative I don’t take his side because happily connected wives don’t respond this way.

You see the missing element to everyone’s story is the answer to the question “why?”.

Why do people act in these ways?

Until that question is uncovered even if the couple does patch things up that reconnection is at risk of being temporary.

The why question leads us to the core reason behind a person’s actions.

This is where the problem starts.

Either people are not asking the “why” question or they don’t know how to translate what’s going on so they never get to the why.

I see so many people end up making the wrong conclusions within their own minds, and this leads them to not liking their interpretation.

This type of thinking initially causes themselves pain and unless the person is helped out of their destructive thinking they will suffer so much they will either stop taking part or have to leave their marriage.

So people are literally thinking themselves out of marriages that could have worked if they only started to ask the right questions.

So both people can live and stay married to their individual stories (their perceptions) or they can search for the truth.

You see growing up we are not taught that just because we have a thought or a belief it doesn’t make it a fact.

Beliefs are simply a perspective.

The problem with beliefs is they bring judgements.

My clients are encouraged to drop their judgments and replace them with curiosity.

It’s far safer to assume you don’t know than to convince yourself what you do know is a fact.

People who are always right have nothing to learn so with this dead-end thinking, they can’t evolve or grow.

The smart people know with relationship problems the only people who’ll come out well are the ones that are open to learning.

I see significant numbers of CEOs and their partners, these are very smart people.

These people are open to learning, they know that learning is how growth happens.

You see rebuilding relationships is as much about personal development and personal empowerment as it is about reconnection.

So the answer to your relationship problems sits in the question, why?

Why is my husband or wife behaving this way?

The next observation is you must look at that question through their eyes not your own because looking through your own will only bring the wrong or distorted answers.

This is why people suffer and get it wrong and keep getting it wrong until one day when they wake up to what they don’t know.

Wisdom teaches us how much we don’t know so we become curious enough to evolve.

So let’s start here.

No matter how smart or how intuitive a person is they will never naturally understand their partner.

Learning your partner is like learning a new language.

You already know no matter how hard you think you’ll never speak a new language without education.

So the moment a person understands this is their first step to a new world, your partner’s world the one that is very different to yours, but normal to them.

This is the start of your path to success.

Category iconMarriage Coaching

"Clients have been kind enough to want to support YOU because they were once in your shoes"

Read their stories!

Recent Posts

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Over 1000 Relationship Articles

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

  • Marriage Counselling Alternative
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  • About
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Recent Posts

  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!
  • “Identity Secrets”- Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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