Smiling through his tears, at last he could see there was hope for the future for him and his wife, he felt lighter, free and he could feel within him confidence for his future start to fill his body.
Four hours earlier he thought he understood how his life worked and why it was going wrong. He was shocked to discover he was totally in the dark and happiness for him and his wife was a totally random event.
He discovered there was a way he could be a man in his relationship and in his life. He now knew what he had to do to love and protect all those he cared for, plus he could do all this without fear.
When couples come to me for help they learn the core foundations needed to be in place for any relationship to work.
They learn a lot they were unaware of. One of the biggest journeys they go on is their relationship with themselves. Lots of relationship books talk about the importance of discovering you and finding yourself.
They are right, but they don’t show you how. This is frustrating because it’s so critical.
You see, you can’t build trust, love and growth on weak foundations because it will never hold and so no matter how happy you are at the start of your relationship the foundations will give way at some point.
So if one person has a weakness through fears or a challenging history then that will form a big part of the filter they use to experience their world today.
Couples come into sessions with a mixed reaction. Some are very aware they don’t understand how they work. Some think they do, which is worse because they are under the illusion they are right?
99.99% of the people that start this journey of self-discovery, learn that what has to happen for them to feel good is so complicated that feeling good is a random event that’s out of their control.
Some discover for them to feel happy they need to control others or their environment. One man thought he would be happy is he earnt £6 million per year. I asked him how much he earnt today he said £5 million.
Imagine if both people in a relationship are lost, most are because there is no education on how to build successful relationships and how to create happiness for the individual.
So they go with what they feel using trial and error as the model for success. What’s interesting is people expect people to be hopeless at their jobs if they have no education but don’t connect that with their relationships.
So if you want to build a successful relationship, learning is the start, and learning about you. How can your partner be successful with you if you don’t know what really makes you happy.
- If you are interested to learn more please get in touch today.