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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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How to get a couple from near divorce back to love step-by-step

One of the reasons I love the process of coaching couples through their problems is the precision in which I can help them both see how to get to their desired result. 

Through the diagram below I will explain how it works.

Six-step-chart

Every couple is different and so the process from A-B will be unique to them

The green letter ‘A’ represents where the couple are today. This is important to understand because the couple will present where they think they are and sometimes it’s far worse than they think and sometimes it’s far better.

Unless you really understand position ‘A’ solving the problem is challenging. It’s a like trying to get to New York from London, but you think you’re in Spain. How confusing would that journey be? Yes very confusing and hard work, so knowing where you really are is critical.

The next position we need to understand is position ‘B’. This is where the couple want to be. We need to know this because otherwise we are all working on different goals without knowing.

This was my personal struggle when I tried counselling in my twenties. She asked us what we felt rather than what we wanted. What we wanted was to understand the problem to see if we could fix it, what we felt was pain. She focused us on our pain and so we both just locked down in more fear so she accelerated our problem rather than helped us to understand it and fix it.

Some couples are on the same page and just want the relationship fixed. Some couples are on totally different pages one is desperate to fix the problems and the other could have one foot out of the door.

In this case the goal has to be something like, discovering if we are actually compatible.

Now we have position ‘A’ and position ‘B’, the couple now need a defined plan to get to their honest answers.

The numbered steps in the diagram above represent steps which the couple have to achieve to get from ‘A’ to ‘B’.

You see without the steps it’s far too bigger jump to go from near divorce to love in one step. It’s like trying to get from your bed to the road in one step, for most this would be totally impossible.

So we need the steps that are most likely to get you both to your chosen goals. The steps are in a specific order for a reason. For example to get to the road from your bed you have to go through specific steps in a specific order.

Relationship problems are the same, for example if trust has been destroyed we have to overcome that before the person can focus on planning a future again, do that in reverse and we will be met with resistance.

The steps 1-6 in the diagram above are the milestones the couple will have to pass through to get to the next step, there are no short cuts. When a person is struggling to achieve a specific step that person is invited into a one-on-one session with me to overcome their block, objection, or challenge.

This could be a problem in their history, in their beliefs, in their fears etc. Once the person has broken through their block they are put back into the process now happy to move forward to the next step.

Step-by-step the couple are moved towards their goal, in each step they are learning not only about their relationship and how it really works, but also about their partner and themselves and what’s really needed to make it work.

This process takes away the uncertainty that creates fears that stops relationships growing, and gives both people clear guidance on what their roles are in the relationship. This creates a new confidence in the individuals to be who they really are and to create a relationship that can actually grow and work for them both.

My clients like this structured approach because they can track their progress with me. Each week we are focused on the progress the couple have made from what they learnt in the session and the homework they were given to practice.

This gives them confidence that what they are doing is designed to take them to where they want to go.

Simple yet very powerful, so now imagine what this process could do for you?

 

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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