When a person feels that they put lots of effort into their relationship and they end up getting very little to nothing back, this can and will cause pain in their relationship.
Many couples come into sessions with this exact complaint.
What’s even more frustrating is when one person does feel they are giving, but their partner communicates,
“What do you give me? I get nothing” or “I know you love me but I don’t feel it”
Many couples are in this space and there is a simple reason behind it.
If you are going to give to your partner, please make sure that what you give is actually what they need, and not what you think they need.
How frustrating would it be to give 100% of you and your partner can only relate to 5% of your actions. That’s frustrating for both of you.
They might come across ungrateful, but in reality they are just being honest providing feedback because they want your relationship to be successful too.
Successful relationships / marriages only happen when each others core needs are met.
When the couple feel their partner is impossible to please they can shut down to protect themselves and this is potentially disastrous for the couple.
The trust will die and they could lose their passion.
Once you have discovered what they really need please just give it because you are a loving person.
Please don’t give and then expect something back because that will kill the relationship too.
You can’t trade your gifts of love.
True love can only be felt if it is selfless.
A love that’s traded is given with a focus on what’s coming back and so the receiver will know that you’re giving to them because of what you want and not because you truly love them.
This creates resentment and kills passion.
So take some time today to ponder on what’s really going on in your relationship and maybe you have the power to make changes immediately.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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