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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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I wanted to know if my emotional future was safe? I got my answer, the question now is yours?

I am going to REVEAL the truth today to why so many couples are struggling. This is the foundation to many of the problems we all face.

This problem affects many areas of our lives and is alive and most active in all personal relationships without couples knowing.

The problem we all face, me included, is ‘we’ (humans) are so conditioned to protect ourselves from painful feelings we totally miss the ability to be able to create true happiness and fulfillment.

If you can understand this it’s the start of your own personal journey to freedom and if you have children it will help you to keep them safe emotionally.

This understanding changed my life forever, So I can’t stress enough how important this is.

I do slip back to old ways in the moment because I’m not perfect, or a robot, but I am today consciously aware and this awareness is what makes the difference for me to take the right actions in my life.

You may need to read this a few times to get it.

Our minds are conditioned to focus us to moving towards what feels good and away from what feels bad. We all feel that inside us.

The problem is this, what if our focus on moving away from what feels bad creates so many limits we end up feeling trapped in our own lives. So the human experience to create security by moving away from our fears actually creates the reverse. The focus on pain actually creates more pain in the long-term.

I’ll explain this in a real example.

I will use Jim as an example he’s 35 and a Lawyer.

Jim has had two serious relationships historically spanning six years. Both his partners cheated on him. Battered and bruised emotionally Jim took a year to get over this last relationship. Jim has a natural need for love (we all do) and so when he felt ready he summonsed the courage and made himself available for a new relationship.

Jim then met Sue and initially they got on great, but after a while Sue started to become uncomfortable with JIm. Jim without knowing had stopped doing all he did to attract Sue and he started to want know her every movement and thought.

[His mind started to want to protect him, he was just doing what felt right rather than what was going to create the happiness he wanted]

He wanted to know where she was all the time, who she was speaking to and what she was talking about.

Sue felt untrusted, trapped and the relationship felt really unhealthy, she also lost attraction because he seemed so needy and controlling.

Jims fears had naturally focused him towards security and trust and away from love, passion, fun and adventure. This new focus towards security was being driven by his fears. This change of focus changed Jims behaviours to protect him. Jim feared rejection, loss of love and betrayal.

Jims new focus on what wrong the minds natural protection mechanism actually drove Sue away the reverse of what he wanted.

If Jim was consciously aware of this he could have focused his energy into to setting her free and becoming invested in her happiness rather than trying to control her to love him.

This of course is just one example. Couples that are living together today are being controlled by their own fears without knowing and so their behaviours are not reflective of who they really are.

When individuals are so influenced by what they fear they will feel wrong inside. They will need to attach what’s wrong to what seems to make sense to them and for many that’s their relationship. This is how so many marriages fail and for all the wrong reasons.

So I want to ask you a question?

Are you aware of what fears are diving yours or your partners behaviours?

If you look at your relationship are you or your partner…

  • Holding back?
  • Punishing?
  • Manipulating?
  • Controlling?
  • Making the other wrong?
  • Judging?
  • Always needing to be right?

If these or behaviours like these are in your relationship then fears are running the show. This means the relationship if it lasts will always struggle to get to the depth of connection that’s possible.

Usual casualties include the couples sex life dies and the children who are watching and learning how relationship work.

The results I see is relationships stop growing and start dying, couples spend more time out of the relationship than in it. What the couple moves towards for pleasure is NOT each other as work and friends become more attractive.

Hidden resentments are helping individuals to detach and feel emotionally numb. This leads many women to feel masculine in their relationship and men to feel weaker and the women to see them that way.

I hope this has helped you to get an insight into why their is so much unrest in the land of personal relationships.

  • Understanding this is the first step toward your personal fulfillment. The next step is to take action to overcome this and free yourselves and your family. Click here to learn more
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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • The Blame Game Trap!
  • “The Relationship Mirror Problem”
  • The Success Path for Failing Marriages
  • Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown
  • “Free your partner before they free themselves”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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