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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I’m not sure I want the relationship anymore!”

When someone shares this problem with me there is, of course, a possibility they are right and the relationship is the wrong one, but if it’s blindly believed it’s also a big risk to take action on.

What this person needs is clarity.

There is also a significant possibility their thinking has led them to a place they might regret if they believe the wrong thing.

I recently shared the concept of feeling stuck and the solution was to see the problem differently so an empowering solution can appear.

So it’s better to find out the choices and get clarity on what is best for this person so they are safe.

For someone to say the words “I’m not sure I want the relationship anymore” they will have spent a significant amount of time not liking how they felt about themselves when they are with their partner.

Many are tending to blame their partner, but this is one-dimensional thinking that can lead them to more problems.

As this person has been part of the creation of the marriage they tell me they don’t like the question is simple.

“Have you both simply created the wrong relationship connection without knowing?”

You see what I keep seeing is people are instrumental in bringing out the worst in each other and so the connection that should build love, care and passion naturally dies.

Neither person will feel good and so they attach that feeling to each other.

They will become good at practising that specific dynamic and over the years consistently feel bad and attach that to the relationship.

They then wrongly see this as their truth and their dormant feelings of loss of love, attraction and passion are permanent.

This feeling will lead them into limited thinking and that leads them into feeling it’s hopeless and they buy it.

Feelings are powerful yet each situation has the ability to create many perceptions and therefore many feelings so which one should a person trust?

In my twenties I would have seen a woman being upset at me as negative, I would see her words as critical and aggressive and that would create a feeling I didn’t like.

Present the same situation to me today and I will not choose to make her upset about me. I will care about her upset and make it my mission to hear her upset and help her.

The situation is the same, what’s different is how I see it and that generates a very different feeling in me.

One situation made me feel bad and attach that to her. In the other situation, I approached her problem with kindness, love and compassion all without judgment.

That approach created empowered feelings minus fear.

You see people are misunderstanding each other making themselves feel bad and blaming the relationship.

My question is what would happen if you created a brand new relationship, but this time one that is full of what you both want and need – no compromises?

Loss of love, loss of passion and loss of connection are simply energies that couples switch on and off without knowing.

The couples are totally oblivious to the fact the energy is still there they just don’t know what to do to reignite it because they have become so skilled at making sure it stays off.

They can leave their marriage, but they will probably do the same problem with someone new, so the solution is to find out what’s possible.

My advice is to respect they are feeling bad because their feelings are real.

Then help them to see a much bigger map of possibility and then show them how their feelings could be different and how they can take charge.

Being armed with what’s possible makes the future so much easier so, do what the smart people do…

Look before you leap…

Category iconMarriage Coaching,  Stuck

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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
  • “What if I’m not enough?”
  • “Another 5 Years Like This? No Way!”
  • In Crisis, their Minds Destroyed Their Lives
  • “Couples are failing at the basics…”
  • “You Might Be in the Wrong Relationship… But Not for the Reason You Think…”
  • Case Studies: “How Changing Your Perspective Can Fix Your Relationship—Here’s Proof”

Over 1300 Relationship Articles


Categories

  • A thought for Sunday (29)
  • Case Studies (2)
  • Communication (70)
  • Destructive Patterns (137)
  • Discussion (2)
  • Infidelity-Affairs (38)
  • Loss of Love (43)
  • Loss of passion (35)
  • Lost Attraction (22)
  • Marriage Coaching (423)
  • Marriage Mastery Assessment (1)
  • Masculine & Feminine (9)
  • Monday Breakthrough (2)
  • Personal Development (104)
  • Rebuilding trust (39)
  • Relationship Stories (24)
  • Retirement Crisis (6)
  • Save Marriage Alone (42)
  • Separation & Divorce (9)
  • Stop & Never – Mini Posts (54)
  • Stuck (9)
  • Testimonials (59)
  • Top 10 Popular Posts (12)
  • Uncategorized (761)

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally.


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.


Click to Download FREE

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Recent Clients: New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Should I Stay or Go?” Why You Shouldn’t Make Big Decisions While You’re Still Suffering
  • Stop & Never: The 30 Patterns That Quietly Destroy Relationships
  • “How to Fix Communication Issues in a Marriage”
  • “First Step to Fixing Any Marriage Problem”
  • Impossible Marriage Problems?
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*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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