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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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“I’ve spent years trying to change my husband – What did you say to him?”

The biggest challenge couples with marriage problems face is not taking action quick enough. They don’t see a very real danger that’s right in front of them. They wait and wait until it gets really bad for both people and then they seek help.

The story your about to read is why it’s so important not to wait. If she would have waited until she was ready to get help they would have lost their marriage. He did what any man should do, he stepped up in a quest to save his relationship.

So this couple were booked in for an initial consultation with me. I had spoken on the phone initially with the husband so I had a little background on their story.

He told me his wife was very nervous and very skeptical that a meeting with me would do any good. I told him she would be looked after and to communicate to her my mission was to get the best possible solution for them both.

On the day of their initial consultation I received an email telling me his wife had changed her mind and point blank refused to come to the meeting. She said she wasn’t ready and it was too soon!

I got the gentleman on the phone and said it’s a shame to miss your meeting why don’t we run the meeting now over the phone with just you and I. He agreed…

On the call he shared his version of the relationship, as he was talking I could hear that his approach and actions were actually going to shut her down and make it far worse.

I told him that his actions were going to help her see him as a weak man and this had to change if he was to have any chance, he instantly agreed. To be clear he wasn’t a weak man, but almost any female would translate his behaviour as weak and very unattractive.

I offered him 4 meetings with me to deal with this specific problem.

He accepted and a week later he was in my office.

In this meeting I helped him understand why his wife would see him as weak, what was likely to be happening to her historically, what was likely to be happening to her right now.

I started to open his mind to her experience! Now of course I had never even spoken to his wife so I didn’t have her specific story, but years of experience told me that she needed him to step-up and be a man for her.

His actions were very likely to help her see him as not just weak, but also bullying and controlling.

As I shared the very real potential of her experience, what he started to see was another world appear, her world!

As he connected with the possibility of a significant difference in the way she would be thinking to him and how she would be translating his actions, he could see that for years he was making things worse for her.

As things had become worse for her, she ended up defending herself and detaching from him emotionally.

To rebalance this he became more controlling of her.

To help him understand I drew on the office flip-chart a model of her experience. I then put in his behaviours.

Instantly he could see what he was doing that wasn’t working and why. I knew his old destructive patterns were dying in that meeting as I explained the pain he was creating in her and what that pain would create.

He shook his head “I had no idea, so what do I do?”

I helped him then see how to react to her that would probably confuse her initially, but if practiced consistently would help her to believe he could change in a meaningful way.

I didn’t hear from him for a few weeks, until I got a message saying she wanted to see with me on her own.

So a very confused lady entered my office eyes darting round the room, she sat on the edge of the chair. “How can I help you?” I asked.

“I’ve spent years trying to change my husband – what did you say to him in that one meeting?

She shared with me the dramatic change she was seeing in him. How protected she was starting to feel by him, how important she felt to him, feelings she had given up on experiencing ever again.

I then shared with her the human behaviour model I shared with him about her experience of him. She smiled and said “He MUST come and learn everything from you” we both laughed.

As the session drew to a close I asked her a question. You were so nervous about coming to see me you cancelled your initial consultation.

She said she didn’t want to come to see me because she didn’t think it would make any difference, she thought we would simply go through lots of painful memories which would just make it worse.

She felt her situation was hopeless, thankfully she learn’t just in time she was wrong.

Many people can be stuck in their relationship because they are relying on perspective(s) that disable them. By helping individuals see there are new empowering perspectives, their relationship no matter how bad, can quickly change.

For every marriage with problems there is a window of opportunity and a tipping point, so don’t wait for the tipping point, take action today even if like this man you come on your own.

If this story has struck a chord with you and you want results please feel free to get in touch with us today.

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Stephen Hedger
Stephen Hedger
About the author:

Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach

With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.

Click to find out more >>> The Marriage Breakthrough Program
Stephen Hedger
Latest posts by Stephen Hedger (see all)
  • All successful people have done this to save their marriage and avoid an almost certain divorce! - May 30, 2020
  • 10 Steps for Divorce Prevention - May 25, 2020
  • Marriage Breakthrough – “Why did they change their minds?” - May 23, 2020

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

From Battlefield to Breakthrough: How to Save Your Marriage Without a Toxic Fight.

January 31, 2025 By Stephen Hedger

Most people who come to me for help believe their marriage is broken, so their level of hope is not high. Many will have tried to fix the problems without success. These people are unaware that there is a critical mindset shift: if you don’t make it, your chances of success dramatically drop. As you […]

“By changing yourself, you can change a relationship… because I did!”

September 16, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

We were in the process of physical separation, with my husband arranging to move out at the end of the month, and I was getting legal advice on proceeding with the divorce.  On one of those distressed and sleepless nights, I came across Stephen’s website and his blog. I was fascinated. What Stephen has written […]

“There’s no hope in hell – I want a divorce!”

April 22, 2024 By Stephen Hedger

So what do you do when the trust is broken so badly that their relationship ends with them selling their family home and moving into separate homes? Most people would consider this the end, but this gentleman decided something different. He wrote to me to see if I could help. I wanted to encourage his […]

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His Marriage was Over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness; his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

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Recent Clients: Scotland, Ireland, Texas, New York, Dubai, Los Angeles, Austrailia, Japan, Germany, France, Ireland, UK, Monaco to name a few.

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems.

Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Why You Love Each Other But Don’t Want Each Other
  • “Your Marriage is On FIRE”
  • What If Everything You’re Trying to Fix… Isn’t the Problem?
  • FREE Coaching: 5 Days to Clarity in Your Marriage
  • Helping Women Understand Their Husbands

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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