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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Masculine Women in Relationships

When a couple comes to see me it’s highly likely they have been suffering for a while so I do expect both people to have lost sight of who they really are in their marriage.

One of the challenges I see again and again is when a woman has taken on masculine energy, and it’s destructive for both people.

To be clear, men can play a significant role in women becoming masculine, but that will not be covered in this post.

Masculine energy for women can be very useful for her, or it can be destructive without her knowing.

Masculine energy can be useful so she can protect and stand up for herself and her children. It can be useful in business. I know and admire many very powerful women in business. 

In many ways women really don’t need men, today women can even have children without a man.

So the question “what do you need a man for?” usually raises some interesting responses.

I asked this question of a very successful businesswoman.

Initially, she was stuck with an answer.

She was stuck due to her past problems of being sexually abused. She made a decision as a child that she had to protect herself, and shutting down emotions stopped the pain of not being protected.

So she also became a great provider for herself through a passion for business resulting in money to keep her safe.

So she really didn’t need a man, but she was with me because she wanted one and the men she was attracting were naturally more feminine or they became that way to please her.

She could control them, which she liked but she never respected them for that.

When a woman comes into a session one of my questions is going to be, is she naturally masculine or has she become this way in her either through problems in her marriage or some profound event where self-protection was needed?

  • If a woman is naturally masculine then that is her home and where she is happiest.
  • If a woman is naturally more feminine but has become masculine as a means to protect herself then she is going to be suffering – this happened to so many women.

This suffering can be seen through depression, stress, anxiety and a powerful need to control.

It’s important to understand…

… women becoming masculine and self-protective is not the problem. The problem is if she feels she has to live there to be safe or has become stuck there without knowing.

When a feminine woman becomes stuck in masculine energy, she will see her husband as either controlling, or weak, as a bully, or another child to look after.

Either way naturally feminine women who have become masculine for whatever reason can struggle with trust, intimacy and can lose attraction and feelings of love.

In fact, a woman that lives here too long can suffer so much here she can struggle to see the point of the relationship.

Many women who have been masculine in their marriage can be shocked out of her masculine energy by another man until she goes home and becomes masculine again.

This doesn’t always mean an affair, but she will ask questions as she naturally connected to her happier natural feminine self in that moment.

  • Some women become masculine to protect and keep their family together, it’s then no surprise to see them seeking help or a divorce once the children leave home.
  • Some women become masculine because growing up her mother gave her daughter her fears.
  • Many women become masculine because they are avoiding being vulnerable when there is no real danger and this kills the marriage.
  • Some women become masculine as men give up their masculinity as a means to please her. “if she’s in control she’s happier!?”

The best emotional place a woman can get to is where she feels free to be truly connected to herself, and she is loved no matter what.

As I said at the start of today’s post, men can play a significant part in helping women become masculine without knowing.

BUT the responsibility is on both people to understand what has been happening and bring the best out in each other.

One lady I’m seeing was so shocked at the way she had taken control of her marriage and shut her husband down she realised she has also taught her daughters her fears and created young masculine women without knowing.

She is now empowered to free them and is delighted she is now helping them learn a safer way to be safe. 

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
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Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

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Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

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October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

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“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

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To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

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Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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