A couple were in my session they said they had really busy lives and not much energy for passion. Both said by 9.00pm they were tired from work, cooking and kids. So I asked them if a man from the nationally lottery turned up at 9.00pm with £20,000,000 would they still have no energy. Of course not they both answered.
So it’s not true you have no energy, you just have no energy when left alone with each other, your love is clearly there, they nodded, but you are not using the energy that’s clearly inside you both for each other? This got them thinking…
You see life is about the energy you bring to your life, successful lives is about the energy that brings the outcomes you desire. A successful relationship is about creating the energy that both people can share and enjoy.
So what energy is going to lead couples to success?
This is not just an interesting question it is the key to every couples success.
When a couple turn up for a session and they tell me they are struggling to be together, but proudly tell me they never argue, just that sentence tells me their story.
My first question is what’s your sex life like? I can pretty much guarantee that is going to be dead and has been for a while.
The couples that do argue, do have passion, but it misdirected into conflict. Just imagine the energy in this couple that could be directed into sexual passion.
Energy takes many different forms and we all have it. Many of us are just not aware of how to use it.
A man has an energy that can dramatically move a woman to connect with him and her feelings for him. Men just don’t know this is possible and so don’t use it.
Women have to power to get his interest in seconds, but she either be unaware or she can hold back.
Many women are stuck in their relationships because a masculine energy has become dominant within them. Many men become weaker as they struggle to understand their partner with this energy.
This energy kills the relationship, it kills the security, it kills the passion, it dissolves their future.
If couples can learn the skill of how to show up for each other in all situations so they can remain connected and still remain themselves, these couples will have the energy that will lead them to lasting passion.
Education really is the key, unless you teach a man how to understand his partner he will always see the world from his own perspective. The same is true for women of course.
Males and females need the energy in their relationship to be the way they need it to be and if they are unhappy something is clearly wrong and needs understanding and correcting.
This is especially important for mums and dads of any age.
It’s so important that parents learn the skills needed to be the example they want their children to follow, because their children will follow their lead, good or bad.
Yes children learn how to run their relationships from their parents. So many people are horrified that they never wanted to be like their parents, but have without knowing turned into them.
All parents want the best for their children, so learning how to be the best and being that guide is so crucial for both parents and their children.
Harley Street Expert | Founder & High Performance Coach
With two decades of experience helping couples out of crisis, Stephen the founder of The Marriage Breakthrough Program, uses his proven system for rescuing and rebuilding relationships on the edge of divorce. A trusted advisor to CEOs, entrepreneurs, and industry leaders globally, his work blends emotional intelligence with strategic clarity. Known for navigating highly complex relationship challenges, Stephen helps individuals and couples find clarity and direction when everything is at stake.
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