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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Number one problem that all couples face – BUT they don’t know!

In today’s post I want to share with you something that is really important if your relationship is struggling or on the edge of divorce.

So week after week I sit with couples in all manner of crisis. Affairs, loss of love, power struggles, communication problems to name a few.

These situations are always complex in terms of how they have been generated, this means the couples are creating their very own unique path to crisis.

What’s simple to see is the trends all couples are doing.

One of my observations is people in or on the road to crisis stop being who they really are when they are with their partner.

What they will notice is they will feel good or better outside of the relationship with work or friends or children, but when they are with their partner they feel bad, again and again.

The reason they feel bad is because a natural wall of protection goes up when they are with their partner at home.

Some people are aware of this protection descending upon them and some are not.

So what is going to happen next if they do this? The person protecting themselves will start to disconnect from their partner as they practice protecting themselves each time they meet.

You can’t love someone and protect yourself from them – it’s impossible! So the love will start to suffer!

A typical amount of time is about two years of doing this before it becomes unbearable for that person and they have to say or do something if they haven’t already.

What’s not being seen is the real challenge.

The real challenge is when couples start to protect themselves from each other there is a ping-pong effect that makes both people disconnected.

What are they NOT seeing that is critical to see? Although they are disconnecting from their partner they are not aware they are actually disconnecting from themselves when they are with their partner.

This is painful and if practiced will create suffering for that person….

This is painful and not sustainable and so the person’s whole body is looking to change the situation. They want out of the pain and need to move towards pleasure, this is why affairs or wishing for a new life is so attractive for that person.

So when they are with their partner they disconnect from themselves and when they are outside of the relationship they reconnect to themselves.

This is critical to understand.

This process helps someone make an assumption that the relationship is wrong and so they can decide to leave, but this could be the wrong decision as they are solving the wrong problem.

So what the real problem here? The real problem is the person is struggling to be themselves when they are with their partner.

This is so important to understand, the biggest pain and suffering comes from not being able to be free to be myself in a relationship.

So rather than seeing leaving the relationship as the solution, it’s so important to find out what has disabled a person from being themselves with their partner?

The reasons behind this are infinite, but once understood can help that person make far safer decisions in their life.

Far too many people regret divorce and so many people just repeat the same patterns just with new partners.

If you are suffering then understanding the real problem is the most important first step to discovering if the relationship is right or wrong for you.

This is why I assess all individuals and couples before we start work. You see you can’t solve a problem unless you know what it really is.

 

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

About Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger is known as the most sought after marriage in crisis specialist in the UK. He is famous for consistently and naturally saving many marriages from divorce. He is a favourite of business leaders, business owners, Judges and celebrities.

Stephen runs his meetings from his office in Harley Street London and supports his global clients over Zoom.

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • Stop bickering and arguing – Mini Post
  • “Why your marriage may not be broken”
  • “Never attach your meanings to your partner’s words and actions!” – Mini Post
  • “Living with a problem partner” – Mini post
  • “Never be a dream killer” – Mini Post

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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