We all experience the passing of time and notice how our relationships change. Many of us are far too accepting of these changes such as a loss of passion and boredom as the relationship loses it’s spark and you’re left with the daunting thought of year after year together.
These Seven Skills are designed to help you and your partner stop contributing towards a stale relationship where resentment and a lack of respect grows.
- DO NOT ACCEPT THIS! Take action starting today.
One of the biggest challenges for any couple is if one or both of you don’t feel understood by the other. What this does is trigger many fears that usually result in one or both people in the relationship pulling love away to protect themselves.
- Do you feel that there are things in your partners life that are more important than you?
- Do you feel that your partner understands your emotions the ups and downs you go through?
- Do you feel that your partner is really there for you when you need them?
- Does your partner feel you are there for them in the way they would like?
Problems can appear out of nowhere when one person in a couple feels that something or someone is more important than them, this happens because this starts to destroy trust and without trust there is no relationship.
Maybe it’s friends, or children, it could be work, or parents, but whatever it is in your relationship if you or your partner do not feel that you or they are the most important thing in each others life you will both go to a place of fear and negatively change how you behave with each other. This destroys the love and the passion and unless you both understand what’s happening fast trouble starts to brew.
This can become a vicious circle that many couples experience.
For example: A couple could experience an escalation of arguments. This could lead her to go to her friends for comfort, to him this makes the friend more important than him and this can be the start of resentment.
Feeling helpless to fix his relationship he could decide to work longer hours because this is where he now feels successful, to her this makes his work more important than her.
The more he works the more she goes to her friends, the more she goes to her friends the more he works.
Of course the friend and work is not more important, but the behaviours start to suggest they are and negative assumptions are made.
One of the biggest skills you can posses in your relationship is the desire to understand your partner and see the world through their eyes, feel what they are feeling and be sympathetic and caring when they need you even if you don’t understand what’s wrong. Just the fact they are experiencing hurt or pain is enough and will prove your love and commitment to them.
By putting them first you are taking 100% responsibility for you, them and the relationship.
This first step will start to bring you and your partner to a far deeper connection as they feel looked after and you start to see the difference you can make in their life.
This creates a relationship that will start to grow again.
- Look forward to speaking to you in part two please post any questions or comments below.