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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Relationship Master Skill SEVEN of SEVEN

Breaking the patterns that don’t work for YOU & YOUR RELATIONSHIP: Many couples across the world are all running patterns that are creating their futures without them knowing. Most people are unaware of these patterns and live their lives which, to them feel normal. The way they think, behave, speak everything is derived from learnt patterns.

These patterns take hold when people are growing and learning at the fastest rate. These changes happen in emotionally charged events and when we are growing up. You have heard the expressing children are like sponges.

Children don’t just take in information they take in everything, and so whatever the world is presenting to them, with no other bench mark to hand, this for them will be their normality.

It is very likely that the children will model their parents behaviours as the way to run their relationships in the future. Boys linking to in the fathers and girls to their mothers. With more and more absent fathers the male role model for children is fast becoming a strong woman designed to cope on her own.

All that children learn they use to create a world which for them feels safe as they grow into adults. Like it or not, although we may rebel as children we can easily find ourselves running patterns of behaviour taught to us by our parents.

The question is who taught our parents and is what they were taught the right way. Of course the right way is subjective, but becoming consciously aware of your own behaviours and how they are affecting you and your relationship is a must in any relationship.

Patterns of behaviours are handed down through the generations like these behaviours are normal. What are you aware of about you, what have you noticed about your partner.

Are there behaviours that you can see in yours and their parents that are reflected in your own relationship today?

Very strong mothers can create boys that eventually seek out strong women to live with. This can cause problems because neither the man or the woman in the relationship will like this reverse polarity role they have.

Very strong mothers can also create very strong girls who also eventually seek out men that are weaker. They do this without thought, it just happens because for them a strong woman in the relationship is how it should be.

Their initial attraction will be powerful, but as life takes hold they both start to feel wrong but don’t know why.

Strong mothers are either created through modeling their parents, or they have to become strong to cope with a life without a man and this is scary if the woman stays in a soft vulnerable state. Of course soft and vulnerable is where she really wants to be in a relationship, but with no man, or a weaker man she feels she has no choice get strong or suffer.

Weaker men follow the same pattern and feel equally bad inside. I see many powerful men in their careers shink as soon as they walk through the door at home. It’s a seemly odd problem, but more and more women are complaining that their husbands no longer wanting to have sex with them. They assume affairs but, the reason is usually the man feels powerless, demasculated, never able to be successful in his relationship.

Another example is a family that is angry or depressed. In fact whatever behaviours that became consistent will sit in their children as the pattern for life.

Many people live their lives without any really knowledge of why they do what they do, life can get out of control fast this way and so they run their childhood patterns to cope.

A pattern created by a 7 year old is not a great pattern to be running an adults life and so it can destroy very fast. I see this type of pattern at play every day in my sessions.

These patterns have to change for the individuals and the couple to be happy again.

When an individual starts to learn how to live life consciously, noticing what they notice about how their behaviours are guiding their lives then life really begins.

The individuals then understand their world and they are less likely to fear, and so lasting passion has the best chance of growing.

  • I hope you have enjoyed this series again, please feel free to comment or ask questions below.
  • If you need help because something in your relationship is wrong don’t wait take action even if your partner will not join you, I can help!

To your success…

Stephen Hedger – Relationship Coach

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Marriage Crisis from Infidelity & Communication Breakdown

August 21, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

Today’s post is about a professional couple in the UK who decided they wanted to share their experience of their tailormade program that was designed to help them out of their marital challenges. They were in crisis due to communication breakdown and infidelity. They had 12 meetings over five months to learn how to reconnect […]

His marriage was over!

June 5, 2023 By Stephen Hedger

This man was in the depths of sadness, his marriage was over, but he didn’t want it to be. They had seen numerous counsellors who had all concluded the marriage was indeed over. He had lost all feelings for his wife. Due to being so stuck for so long, he had started an affair. But […]

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

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Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

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“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

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Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Marriage at Risk from Destructive Triggers”
  • “The Root Cause Revolution”
  • “Top 1% Marriages do Something Different…”
  • “I had to stop her – she was killing the marriage she wanted to keep!”
  • “The Biggest Relationship Red Flag”

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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