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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Relationships hits trouble – Is the end the solution!?

When a relationship hits rocky ground and the future seems very uncertain. The couples natural reaction is to want to fight what they believe is causing the problem...

A lot of couples blame each other, so they assume that their compatibility is wrong and blame the relationship. They believe that this where their fight is, so they start the fight there. Seems logical of course, I’m not feeling good based on your behaviours so the reason we are in trouble is because of you, or we are just not a good fit.

Obvious solution, end the relationship!

That will get rid of the initial pain and open up the possibility of a far better future…however…

…It is likely that the relationship patterns will run again, and show up in the next relationship too. It’s not until individuals go through this a few times and a lot of pain, do they start to question what the real problem might be.

What if the fight is not the fault of the relationship…

…what if you think it’s the relationship and your wrong, who has to pay for that major error of judgement?

What if the behaviours in you, or your partner was driven from past events long before you met. This means it’s not the real you, or your partners’ true self, or your relationship that is the real problem!

Of course you still may not like their behaviours, but with a new understanding at least you know where to jointly put your energy.

There is a massive difference between the words – What’s wrong with you? & What’s troubling you and how can I help?

You see, it feels very different to battle a common enemy together within an individual than it does to blame each other. The emotional states that are created are very different.

Knowledge of the truth creates empathy for the internal battle an individual faces. This results in the interaction is itstops being judged so harshly and is replaced with loving and caring.

The problems an individual can experience in their past and the power it has over their future can vary greatly. The key is to understand it so it can be dealt with.

But what’s important is that when you consider your relationship and the problems you are having, logic may not be your answer. There is going to be much more going on than you are aware within both of you and not knowing the truth could cause the end of your relationship and possibly a future of the same pain, but just with different people.

It’s true, not all people are made to be together, but it’s a big gamble, with a big cost if you get it wrong.

My advice is this: If you are a couple in trouble find out the truth, if you thought your partner was wonderful when you first met then that is likely to be the true them. If they have changed it’s because they are now running coping patterns they created in the past, based on either a fear of life not being safe, or the way it should be for them.

The coping patterns are designed to protect them from pain, this is why it’s running, but because the pattern was designed at a different time, for a different reason the pattern will never work.

The result is their fear will become bigger for them, because the coping pattern is not working, they will keeping running it expecting life will get better, but it never does. This fear becomes their critical in their mind, it becomes their constant focus and the focus ends up creating the very thing they fear most.

Is this a possibility in your relationship or if you are single has this been happening to you?

If so help is not far away, get in touch today!

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
London
W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • “Needy and not needed!”
  • “Discover the No.1 Philosophy of Highly Effective Spouses: From Struggle to Success”
  • “Unveiling the Secrets: How I Mastered the Art of Resolving Relationship Issues”
  • 3 Foundations for a Healthy Marriage
  • Misdiagnosis – Divorce Prevention Part 3

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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