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Stephen Hedger

Stephen Hedger

Crisis Marriage Coach | Harley Street London

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Retirement triggers marital crisis

He was a powerful figure in a very successful career. She was a supportive wife and loving mother. All set for retirement they were both shocked at the desperately negative place they found themselves in.

This gentlemen has kindly shared his story with you. He really couldn’t find or see a way forward and had concluded that leaving the relationship was probably their only option.

Many couples suffer with this kind of problem because they are unable to understand how to solve it.

These are his words.

Ours is a unique story – or so we thought until we met with Stephen. 

Having been married for over 38 years, we were a role-model couple and an envy of many divorced around us amongst our friends and family.

Yet, after I took retirement from over 30 years of career that involved extensive global travel, I found our life at home far from being blissful. Suddenly, we were spending a lot of time together but this was not making me or my wife happier as we had expected it would.

What seemed like odd bits of complaining, that I had previously (ignored as noise) with the alleged need to focus on the higher calling from demands of work, got amplified into a 24/7 situation. We both responded by digging up all the past grievances and dug ourselves into a constant state of bickering and arguing – mostly about historical events that neither of us could undo. Each of us felt under appreciated for the sacrifices made and we were feeling short changed of the happiness that we had strived for all our lives.

After my retirement, I felt free for the first time to do what I always wanted to do but could not when working – we had the means and time – why should we not both have fun. After all, we had both made significant sacrifices and deserved to now live together in the peace and harmony.

I could not find this positive energy at home – it was because of all the wrong that I was perceived to have done in my past but could no longer undo. The option of running away and restarting with a clean slate looked like the only way to avoid what seemed like a marriage destined to be full of negativism.

We both loved each other and each had a lot to lose by breaking up at this late stage in our lives. So we decided to find and go for the best marriage counsellor we could find.

About that time, I read an email sent by Stephen with one of his offers of a free session. I read his blogs and these echoed well with me. It was easy to convince my wife to try out a session with Stephen to figure out if we had a chance to save our marriage.

For me it was a last port of call before I walked away from being constantly reminded of how many mistakes I had made in the 38 years of marriage. For my wife, it was an opportunity to figure out how to set our marriage on a better path.

At our first session with Stephen, we were shocked by how quickly he understood us and our issues. He was also able to show us a very credible path to figure out for ourselves the truth from the noise in our domestic discussions. He was clear from the outset. He was not there to fix our marriage. He was going to show us what we were doing wrong and help us figure out what each of us wanted from the marriage. It was for us to then decide for ourselves if we were willing to make the changes needed to bridge the gaps going forward.

Stephen is a highly skilled and an experienced marriage counsellor. There are not many situations he has not come across in the past. He also cleverly compliments his experiential knowledge with structured relationship frameworks that enable self-discovery and provide foundation to the advice he gives.

Initially, I wanted to rush to a conclusion but soon realised the value of a longer timeframe for our engagement with him. Some sessions were for us as a couple while others were as individuals. Each session left us with a “wow” – if only we had known that going into the marriage or “ah hah” – so that is what is causing all the arguments between us. We had time between the sessions to experiment between us and to provide Stephen with feedback.

He taught us to understand how different we were in our needs and how recalling historical incidents to fuel an argument (whilst tempting and natural) was futile. We also learnt that passion happens from having shared vision of the future and from doing the right things together where there is alignment. More than anything else, we have stopped clouding our relationship with issues from the past and are able to have conversations about situations objectively. We still have differences but at least we are able to deal with these in a more rational and a mature way.

We owe Stephen a big thank you for putting our lives together on a positive track and giving our marriage a decent chance of a success. He is empathetic, understanding and assertive on several aspects. He gave us very wise counsel. It is now up to us to embed what we learnt into our daily lives. In the end, whatever we decide will be more rational rather than being based on an emotionally confused state.

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I’m not going to ask you how you “feel", pay me to watch you argue, or try to find the person to blame.

I am looking to discover if the couple can become a team, overcome their problems together and create a dynamic that will create a loving and passionate life together.

My approach is to take you from where you are, to where you want to be… fast!

I can not recommend Stephen highly enough – he not only saved our marriage, but has improved my marriage and myself as a person.

Banker - London

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Do You Want
To Save Your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

A 30 minute call with Stephen

In a short phone conversation, Stephen was able to quickly get to the heart of what the real issue was in our marriage – and why in almost a year of working on our marriage including 10 weeks of marriage counselling through a relationship therapy organisation, we weren’t really making any progress. I found Stephen to be extremely perceptive, as well as empathetic to our situation, while being able to quickly pinpoint the real sticking point in our marriage.
Many thanks
Olivia

Dear Stephen
Thank you for your time to listen to my experience in my marriage. You gave me encouragement to speak out to my partner in confidence. You made me realise that sometimes the way we make comments on each other can aggravate the situation and make it worse. Your advice made me feel revived.

Kind regards

Chipo

Success Stories

Client responds to testimonial

November 11, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

I’m working with this lady, and during the session, she wanted to comment on a testimonial another client had left. As you go through today post, you will see what she wanted to say. Before you get to her words, I want to set the context. I’m not quoting her word for word here, but […]

“I was in tears…” 

October 20, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

‘Initially I went to Stephen with a sole focus on saving my marriage as my husband wanted a divorce whilst I felt I could not let go of the 14 years’ relationship without giving it a second chance. My husband was determined to exit and refused to join the Marriage Breakthrough Programme with me, therefore […]

“Lawyer saves relationship alone”!

July 27, 2021 By Stephen Hedger

“I went to see Stephen when my relationship was at breaking point. The final trigger was my partner’s plan to sell his property and move in with me. We had until then a long-distance relationship and never spent more than about a month together (thanks to the COVID lockdown). I had finally moved to his […]

“It was like walking through a minefield blindfolded”

November 29, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

When relationships go wrong the pain can be unbelievable. Today’s post is about a couple whose relationship was quickly out of control and both people thought it was the end. When I first agreed to meet this couple she arrived first.  She was clearly very anxious, eyes darting, wringing hands, unsure if her husband would […]

One small shift changed her mind & saved her marriage – Part 2 of “Should divorce really be the next step?”

May 10, 2020 By Stephen Hedger

What sits at the core of the most successful marriages. What is it that makes the difference. What is it that helps couples stand the test of time? What is it that helps couples make it through all the ups and downs life has to throw at them? Is sex at the core for a […]

Do you want
To Save your Marriage?

Hi, I'm Stephen Hedger. I'm determined to help couples discover what their marriage is capable of with the right information. My only question is, will it be yours?

Learn more

 

“Free Marriage in Crisis 8 Page Guide”:

Stephen Hedger is a marriage in crisis specialist sought after by CEO’s Bankers, Judges, GP’s, Business Leaders, A List Celebrities and Entrepreneurs Globally


Stephen says when you are in marital crisis it's important to know what to do to make sure your next steps don't make the situation even worse. This short guide written by Stephen is designed to help you take a step back and consider next steps intelligently.

 

Click to Download FREE

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Head Office
10 Harley Street
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W1G 9PF

Stephen Hedger offers married couples in crisis across the globe a comprehensive strategic roadmap to overcome their marriage problems. Today Stephen works with Celebrities, CEO’s, Lawyers, Bankers, Royalty, Judges, and business owners helping them transform their family and personal relationships with massive breakthroughs, seemingly against all odds.

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Recent Posts

  • When a marriage breaks down – What do I do?
  • Marriage is a dance – A dance most couples kill
  • “We can’t find a way forward!”
  • Breaking unhealthy relationship patterns
  • Anyone that marries will have trouble!

*Disclaimer:
Any testimonials stated on this page or on any pages on the Stephen Hedger Marriage Coach website/s are proof of our success, naturally, results may vary from person to person.

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