If you are going through a relationship break up, or you are struggling to get over a relationship, even though many months have past, it’s very likely that you will be running the same questions, thoughts or movies in your mind over and over in your head.
You might wake in the morning and just for a split second you forget what’s happened and then the horror reveals itself.
You go through the day determined it will get better, but everything seems to remind you of your ex, pulling you back to the how’s and why’s, the confusions and fears.
Some of my clients that have or are going through such traumatic times will all react differently, some get angry, some get depressed, some escape inside themselves, some leave the country. Some look for love from friends and family, some redecorate, some buy new clothes, some re-style their hair.
But whatever they do nothing seems to work! The pain doesn’t go!
You see these people are running patterns that they think will keep them safe through their pain, but it’s doesn’t work.
Many say time is a healer, but unless the individual learns from what’s happened, all time will achieve is a harder, bitter version of them ready for the next bout of pain.
Time will only heal if you know what to do with that time.
You see, break ups are usually full of negative emotional states, creating lack of confidence, self doubt, stress, depression, anger, revenge, hatred etc…
All those feelings are based on one thing… FEAR.
- Fear of not being enough
- Fear of not being loved
If all that comes out of a break up is a tougher you, or a depressed, or angry you then this is FEAR at play here too.
The goal in life is to remove your FEARS only then will you be truly free.
FEARS are powerful, they will create states within you that stop you living the life you were born to live. FEARS change the way you behave and so they will redesign your future if you don’t learn how to take control of them.
Fears also shut down the internal mechanisms designed to keep you safe long term. FEARS are designed to get you out of danger fast. But when you are in bed at night you are not in danger the only thing to fear is your own mind, out of control torturing you all over again.
So is fear your enemy? No the fears are designed to help you to change what you are doing and what you are thinking.
The problem is most people don’t know what to change and how to change and that’s why they stay stuck.
If you need help please get in touch because there is a way to a new freedom, confidence for you if you want it. This is not about changing you, it’s about reclaiming the real you, the wonderful you that sits inside trapped!
Is it time to… free that person within you now?!