He didn’t come to fix his marriage. He came because everything he thought he knew about himself had collapsed. An affair was the symptom, not the cause. What follows is the story of how ownership replaced blame, fear gave way to leadership, and a marriage that should have ended found a future worth fighting for.
I came to Stephen with my marriage in ruins, following a short-term affair, with no real understanding of why I had done what I had done or how to even begin taking steps towards rebuilding.
From the very first moment, it was clear that Stephen’s methods and approach were different from regular therapy, and I can honestly say that if they hadn’t been, we wouldn’t have even got started.
In essence, I would say Stephen doesn’t fix your marriage; he equips you with the tools and understanding to fix it yourself by establishing the foundations for a deeply satisfying relationship and by providing methods to break cycles of deeply embedded behaviour. He works with you independently and then brings you together when he has successfully helped each party navigate their mindset to a place where it is feasible to see the possibility of a future together, regardless of what has gone before.
However, his impact went far beyond giving me the tools and understanding to be a partner who could contribute to a wholly satisfying marriage. Stephen saved me from myself by helping me to see, in a way I truly believe no one else could have, how my programming and subsequent behaviour were contributing to a deep underlying unhappiness, and how my lack of awareness around this was causing me to operate from a blame model towards my wife and my marriage. With this awareness, I was able to take ownership of my actions and shift my day-to-day behaviour, such that I could start acting in a way that represented me at my best — someone I could be proud of — rather than someone reactive, operating from a self-focused, fear-driven centre. Not only has this allowed my wife to see the possibility of a future with me, it has also helped me find peace within myself and a sense of happiness I lost long ago.
In terms of my wife, Stephen helped her reframe the situation and see that it had nothing to do with her or her identity. This allowed her to regain confidence in herself, and even to view the situation through a lens of compassion. That shift has opened the door to a future together which would otherwise have been lost. Beyond our marriage I also believe the work she has done with Stephen has been impactful in various other areas of her life and, much like with me, left her feeling happier and more connected to her best self.
Without doubt, were it not for Stephen, my marriage would be over and my relationship with myself would have remained distorted and broken. The process of solidifying my marriage as a safe place where we can thrive is far from over — only by demonstrating a consistent shift in behaviour over a prolonged period of time can that be achieved — but I now have absolute confidence that we can get there, and that thereafter we will have a more fulfilling marriage than ever before. I am no longer scared that I will spend my life being punished for what I have done, and I am confident that even in difficult moments I will be able to sit with my wife’s emotions without collapsing into my own guilt.
Stephen is a unique individual who delivers real, tangible value. My only sadness is that we can’t continue working with him forever.
If you’re reading this and quietly wondering whether it’s already too late, it isn’t.
Marriages don’t fail because of one event, they fail when no one knows how to lead change. With the right understanding, patterns can be broken, trust can be rebuilt, and a future can be created that is stronger than what existed before just like this gentleman.
There is always a next step. And there is always hope.
Apply for Help — Before It’s Too Late to Repair
- “The Affair Wasn’t the End. It Was the Wake-Up Call.” - December 18, 2025
- Why Marriages Fail… (This is why love isn’t enough) - December 13, 2025
- The Dangerous Delay in Marriage: - December 6, 2025
